


The Prince and The General

by baosjk89



Category: Football RPF, Real Person Fiction, Sports RPF
Genre: Drama, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Male Friendship, Schweinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2014-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-10 03:51:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 37,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2009934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baosjk89/pseuds/baosjk89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They finally did it...<br/>They are world champions.<br/>Lukas never felt so free in his entire life.<br/>Bastian never felt a weight this heavy on his back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

They knew each other for so many years and played together for their country so many times that Lukas didn’t even know when he started to connect Basti with the German national team.

To Lukas, every friendly match, Euro and WorldCup, was more than a tournament to see who is the best. It was a chance to be close to Basti; train with him; joke with him; have long talks about absolutely anything during sleepless nights.

Lukas felt free with Basti. Of course he knew that maybe he didn't just feel free, but also acted like no one could judge him.  
During all these years he had seen how some players, coaches, and media looked at them. He'd heard what people said about them…  
He heard good things…  
He heard bad things…  
And he heard ill things…

Lukas remembered quite well when in 2010, Basti said in an interview what he thought of Argentina’s football style. He remember how the entire Argentina team wanted Basti’s head…  
How they hit Bastian…  
How some player had come to him with a malicious smile and said:  
"Prince Poldi, is it? Won’t you save your lady over there? My boys aren’t being nice to her. If things don't change there won't be a princess left for you!"

Lukas remembered how angry he got; how he wanted to punch everyone’s face. But he's a professional and he had to act like one. Basti is a tough guy, he knows -- but it didn't make it any easier to see what was happening. They were winning. Argentina was losing. But they were beating Basti just for the sake of it.  
They were a strong team though. One that was playing together for two World Cups. They were a big family, and every time Basti hit the ground more determined to end this game, they get -- and they did -- 1…2…3…4 goals.

But the reason behind all these memories left him even more angry…  
Four years ago he was on the field with Basti, but today he was on the bench and Basti was on the field getting hit over and over and over again.  
Lukas could see that everyone was nervous. It’s the final and they lost Khedira and Kramer. Kroos is having difficulties and now Argentina appeared to want to break Basti in half.  
He wanted to be there…  
He wanted to help Bastian…  
He wanted to kick Aguero’s legs…  
But nothing came close to what he felt when Bastian raised his head, face bloodied while being taken off the field.

Of course he saw Thomas' bloodied face in their first game and of course he got preoccupied, but now it was Basti. His Basti. And it just felt different.

He could see them trying to stop the bleeding and he was getting up to offer his help -- to be there; to be close; to see with his own eyes that everything was fine…  
But Miro’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.  
And then he heard someone saying that they’re gonna have to sew the wound in the background.

What?!

Lukas noticed that his face must have shown his displeasure with the possibility because he saw Jogi looking at him silently, ordering him to trust on his judgement and not to intervene.  
Of course Lukas didn’t like it. Does Jogi think that he would do something as irresponsible as questioning his coach during the final?  
But Basti couldn’t continue playing. Jogi must have seen it. Why won’t he call for a substitute?

\- And call who?

Lukas looked at Miro but didn't say anything. Miro was right: Who could Jogi possibly put in Basti’s place?  
Khedira was out…  
Kramer was out…  
Philip was already playing in another position…  
And Kroos too…  
They needed Basti; he was keeping them moving; He was attacking as well as defending; He was coordinating their lines. Taking Basti out of the game is what the Argentinians wanted, and he knew that Jogi and Basti weren’t going to give it to them.

But despite his resolution nothing could prepare him for the onslaught of feelings and sensations when he saw Jogi firmly holding Basti’s head while one of the physios held his legs and the doctor got to work on Basti’s face.  
When Basti’s legs started to shake Lukas couldn’t look anymore, so instead he looked at the bench, and saw that everyone was looking to what was happening. He looked at the field and saw some of the players from both sides giving quick glances, a mix of expressions. It was too much for him, so he looked at the ground. He didn't know how much time passed. He only looked up again when he heard the applause …   
Basti being cheered in his return to the field …   
But Lukas knew it was far from over …   
But they’re more than a collection of Individual talent …  
They're an organism, a family. Every single player was important. There’s no ‘me’. It was always ‘us’. Every hit was felt by everyone, so when Basti returned they all felt a new wave of energy…and it was notable on the field …  
One minute…  
Two minutes…  
GOAL…  
Mario did it, and did it beautifully…

Lukas was in ecstasy, and then he saw Bast. His friend didn't go to Mario; he come to him. He stopped right in front of him and Lukas could feel in Basti’s eyes that whatever force that had been pushing him forward was leaving him.  
It may seem cruel, but Lukas couldn’t let Basti rest. Not yet. They scored a goal but the game wasn't over…

So without thinking Lukas ran to Bastian and jumped on him. He squeezed Bastian, as if trying to send all his energy to him -- Bastian would need it. Lukas pulled back a little, put his hand on his friend's nape and stared into his eyes. He wanted to send all his joy and affection to give Bastian the strength for those final minutes.   
And the fight continued. He knew it would. Argentina isn't an easy adversary. They were strong and fought till the very end, but they did it…  
They finally did it…  
Ten long years to finally be champions…

Everyone was jumping, screaming, laughing…but not Miro. Not Basti…  
Miro was looking at the field trying to process what happened…  
And his Basti…

Four years ago he saw his friend dropping on his knee realizing that their dream of being champion would not happen. Now he saw that same man losing it all: His composure, his strength, his angry eyes and his commanding voice. Lukas saw as it all left Basti’s body. The match was over; they won; they’re champions. His Basti doesn't need to fight anymore and he knows it…

Lukas was moving to meet Basti when Louis came to him. Basti is … he doesn’t know what Basti is to him … but Louis always came first.  
Lukas doesn’t felt guilty for not being there with Basti. He saw Thomas, Phillip, Jogi and the others there for him. They’re there to hold Bastian while he breaks into tears.

Lukas holds his son while thinking about everything they’ve gone through…

When they started 10 years ago, he and Basti were the future of German football. They were the ones that would bring the fourth star home. Basti belonged on the attack alongside him, Prince Poldi…

But after so many tries, their lives took directions that neither of them would have thought about. Basti left his side on the attack and was pulled back to the midfield to become the chosen one…

He may have prince in his nickname, but the truth is, Phillip was their captain and Basti was their general…  
In another life he may feel jealous… but in this one he could not be more prideful.  
He was proud of Basti, proud of himself, and he was happy to be at Basti’s side on every defeat and finally on their highest glory.

Seeing his friend’s shaking legs (seeing him laugh and cry; break down and be rebuilt; fail and succeed over the years), only made Lukas sure of what he’d already been suspecting for years:  
He loves Bastian Schweinsteiger.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

“My legs are done!”

Lukas turned his head to face Bastian.

“Does it hurt?”

“My legs? No…but tomorrow they will like hell.”

Lukas looked at Bastian from head to toe and with a smile and said:

“You know I’m not just talking about your legs.”

Bastian smiled even wider, wrapping Lukas in a semi hug as he waved to the audience.

“You worry too much! Forget about me and my legs … We’re champions! We won! We’re at the top of the world! We can do whatever we want. Today we’re heroes!”

Lukas liked the way Bastian was thinking…  
But he couldn’t stop thinking about Bastian’s wellbeing.

Despite that, his friend was right: They achieved a glory that everyone had been waiting for for 24 years. They earned the right to do what they wanted, even if it was just for one day.

So without much thought Lukas looked into Bastian’s eyes. He didn’t have to say anything; he could see that Basti understood his intentions, and so they closed their eyes. Lukas approached and he could feel Basti do the same. Or maybe it was fear? Maybe it was custom? The fact is that they maintained that gap between themselves, never finishing what he believed to be what they both wanted.

They’d already simulated the act though, and soon started to laugh…

Lukas felt that such happiness should be immortalized, so he took out his phone and didn’t even need to call for Basti’s attention. He could feel Basti’s breath on his ear, so he raised his hand and looked at the screen … just as Basti kissed him on the cheek, and did so smiling at the camera.

He couldn’t stop his smile. Why would he anyway? It was funny. (At least he thought so, and he could see that he wasn’t alone in this. Basti was smiling as well at their little show.)

He pulled Basti close,smiling foolishly as he could see Philipp rolling his eyes and Thomas smirking at them.  
The happiness was so big that he didn’t have words to describe it. He didn’t even feel familiar with the kind of feeling and it only got better…

They danced, they laughed, and eventually got on separate ways -- they were a team after all; they should celebrate with every member of the team. And so they did, though after some time Lukas was searching for Louis again. He wanted to hug his son one more time before the nightly celebrations, and that was when his eyes fell on Basti smiling and listening to his son shyly speak to him.

Lukas felt his heart swelling inside his chest. Every time he saw Basti with Louis he felt something strange but good at the same time, and for years he tried to bury that feeling, because deep inside he knew that he could get addicted to it.

“Where’s my boy?”

And he could see both of them looking at him: Louis with eyes full of happiness, looking at his dad like he was some kind of superhero. He couldn’t feel more proud of himself.

And Bastian…

Basti’s eyes were serene, a contrast to his bruised face. And with his hair that was all over the place, he looked like someone that just got off a battlefield -- and he had, but Basti’s eyes were   
something different. That look that was solely on him was sending him a wave of feelings that he wanted but couldn’t grasp at the moment…  
Not in front of Louis…  
Monika…  
The entire world…

So Lukas just smiled back, turned his back to Bastian and took Louis to Monika.  
A part of him felt ashamed. The other thought of him as a coward.

Deep down he knew that if he ran back to Basti, held him and kissed him in front of everyone, Basti would not back down. He would be there for him; reciprocating his feelings or not…  
But Lukas could not bring himself to do it…  
Despite every fiber of his being screaming at him to hold Basti a little longer -- to kiss his mouth instead of his cheek, to pet Basti’s hair a little more …  
He simply couldn’t…  
But Lukas was never a man to think about what should have been. The ‘if’ doesn’t belong in his present. His present was better than any possible outcome.

Lukas met Bastian again during some interview. In fact it was during several interviews. They were bombarded with questions about how they felt;  
how it was;  
what they thought of it.

And at some point he could see from far away that Basti was having difficulty understanding what the reporters were asking. He could see Basti looking for someone to get him out of there, and he was coming to rescue him only to feel a little disappointed to see Thomas arrive first…

He was about to complain internally aobut how the world could be so cruel when another opportunity arrived, and this time it was Basti’s eyes that found him.

“Luki…”

And he couldn’t hold himself anymore. Basti rarely calls him Luki in public, but he did, and it feel so good that he started to talking loudly, holding Basti close and rapidly steering the two of them away..

When they were finally away from the press Lukas noticed that they couldn’t keep their hands off each other; couldn’t stop laughing at each other.  
Lukas didn’t even notice when he brought his hand to Basti’s cheek, that his finger was close to Basti’s wound, or that Basti’s eyes appeared to be fighting to stay open, or how Basti simply let his head rest on his hand.

“Aaahhaaamm…”

And just like that they broke apart, and he silently thanked Philipp for warning them (though Philipp looked at him like he was a kid that didn’t realize the seriousness of the situation).

“Angela Merkel is going to visit us, so please, keep your hands to yourselves for a while.”

“Why I’m receiving a lecture and Basti isn’t?”

A gleeful voice answered Lukas.

“Because if your Schweini wasn’t so high on happiness, he would have fall asleep from exhaustion a long time ago.”

Both Lukas and Philipp looked at Thomas, questioning from where the guy came from.

“What?! I’m just stating the obvious since no one else is doing it.”

“You would have said something even if there was nothing to say.”

“You guys are too serious for me right now. I’m gonna to talk to Basti, he’s more fun.”

Lukas was following Thomas and he didn’t even know for what reason. The only one that could stop him was Philipp, and he did.

“Lukas, come with me so we can find Per and join him for a drink.”

“But…I--”

“--Will leave Basti alone to have fun with some of his other colleagues?”

Lukas stopped and looked at his captain, smiling while pulling him close with an arm.

“Yes, Captain!”

“You two make me feel old.”

“No, Captain!”

“Lukas, stop it.”

“Yes, Captain!”

Lukas was sure that was one of the best moments in his entire life. He made fun of Per and they both got in a particular challenge to see who would be able to make Philipp relax. It’s not like the little man was serious. (Far from it.) The man was having as much fun as them, but there was something about his face that made it all so funny. Maybe it was the alcohol that was making him do stupid things…

But whatever it was, nothing could prepare him for Basti’s entrance…

His Basti was wearing the jersey with signatures from all the previous world champions and the German flag on his shoulders, and that made Lukas feel that funny feeling in his belly, only to be brought back to reality by Per’s hand below his chin pretending to be putting it back in place.

“Seriously, Lukas, you’re almost beating him at looking like a fool in love.”

Lukas smiled and returned to joke with Philipp.  
In the end they drank, danced, screamed, and he even kissed Rihanna.  
In fact Basti was kissing everyone -- except him.

“Why’ve you kissed everyone but me?”

“Because I kissed you on the field. And because I’m evil.” Bastian said, winking at Lukas.

“Ooooh, Lukas is jealous because he didn’t get a kissss from Bastiiii!”

Lukas tried to look angry but quickly burst into laughing.

“Kiss him, Basti!”

“Should I, Thomas?”

“Kiss…kiss…kiss!”

“Kiss…kiss…kiss!”

Lukas had to admit he got a little scared when he noticed that it wasn’t just Thomas cheering ‘Kiss!’.  
Per…  
Toni…  
Mesut…  
Philipp (who was probably getting his revenge for hours of jokes on himself…), and even Miro…for God’s sake!

But his surprise didn’t last long because Basti’s hand grabbed his face, pulling him close and giving him a kiss.  
It was a quick kiss; almost felt like Basti was giving him a headbutt instead of a kiss, but their lips touched, so it counted, didn’t it?

Lukas knew that it wasn’t their first kiss. When they were younger it was him that grabbed Basti by the hair and kissed him. It had been a bet between them and he had won it with glory.

But that was the first time they did it in front of an audience.

And that made all the difference, because 8 years ago the only sound he heard was his own voice mocking Basti, claiming he had won whatever they were betting -- but today what he heard was cheering from the entire team.

Lukas didn’t even question why the team was cheering for them. Who cares? They probably had their own bets on them.

When they separate -- and Lukas thought it was too soon -- they only looked at each other and cheered with everyone else.   
He brought Basti close, embracing him with all his strength.

“Love you, man!” Lukas said, kissing Basti’s forehead.

Smiling, he even tried putting Basti in a bridal carrying position, but only succeed in dropping them to the ground, soon followed by Thomas jumping on top of them screaming: “Little mound!!”  
Lukas shared a quick glance with Basti before they were engulfed by a mass of people.


	3. Chapter 3

What a night...  
It was far from over, and to be even more complete, when Lukas was going to his room he found Basti on his bed.

Basti was lying on his back, calmly sleeping on top of the German flag, still wearing the jersey with the signatures.

Lukas didn't know what to do, so he just stood there admiring his friend. Such a view should be forbidden, and it made him feel the urge to jump on the bed and he started to poke Bastian.

“ ...Mmmhmm... stop it.”

“Never!”

Bastian tried to free himself from Lukas’ attack but he didn't have any strength left, so he  
simply gave up. Lukas noticed and pulled Basti in his arms.

“What? You quit?”

“Do what you want. My legs and arms are done; I already told you that.”

_'Do what you want...'_

Those words had an impact that Lukas didn’t believe Basti thought they did, and he laid a hand unconsciously on Basti’s hip, bringing him close.  
He found it strange that Basti didn't joke or complain about it, only understanding the reason behind it when he saw that Basti was asleep again.  
They’ve touched freely; he had even grabbed Basti's crotch during one celebration. (He didn't really understand why he was feeling different now that he only had his hand on Basti's hip.Maybe it was the position they were).   
Maybe it was because Basti fit so perfectly...  
And only thinking about it made Lukas bring Basti even closer to himself. He grabbed his phone and took a picture -- but this one was special. This one he won't share with anyone.  
To Lukas it was another memento showing how much they trust each other...

Lukas was happy, but not satisfied. Still he refused to wake his Basti, so he spent some time reading about the game on his phone and didn't realize when Bastian had woken until Basti's arm hit him.

“Oh, sorry.” Bastian said turning around to see who was there with him.

“You still here?”

“And where would I be?”

“I don't know, maybe downstairs?”

“Oooh, and missing seeing your sleeping face that is so cute.”

“I'm not cute!”

“I'm not saying you are; just the face you made is. You on the other hand -- with that big nose, big cheekbones, big chin…”

Lukas could see Basti faking an upset face, so he grabbed Basti's face and smiling added:  
“... but I find you strangely beautiful!”

“Aaaah...go bother someone else." Bastian said while moving away from Lukas and getting out of the bed.

“I'm going to take a shower. Feel free to go meet the others.”

“If I go, you promise me that you won't be jealous?”

Bastian's answer was throwing the jersey he was wearing at Lukas.

“Oh Yeah! Striptease!”

And that earned Lukas one football boot being thrown in his direction.

While Bastian was in the shower Lukas really thought about going downstairs -- but the view was great, and he was already so relaxed that in the end his laziness won.   
The relaxation was giving him energy to endure the rest of the night ( of that he was sure), but then Basti had to interrupt and occupy his mind, and if Lukas didn’t know better he would swear that Bastian was provoking him.

Why walk away from the bathroom with nothing but a towel?

But then again this was Basti’s room, and it’s not like they never got naked in front of each other -- and dear Lord, he needed to look elsewhere.  
So he did. In moments like these he was glad that he’s always got his cellphone.

It’s attached to his arm, Per once said.

But pretty soon he was interrupted by Basti’s big smile.

“Someone‘s there?”

“What?”

“I was talking to you, but apparently since I’m not touchscreen and don’t have access to internet, I’m not so important.”

Lukas was confused. Was Basti being serious?

He remembered quite well their Hangout for Adidas where he thought that Bastian was joking about him and Per doing everything together, but he soon discovered that Bastian was being serious.  
And he had to admit he didn’t get the reason why.  
Bastian could let Gomez, Thomas and other players hold him, his face, ogle him -- but he couldn’t have fun with Per and Oli?

Lukas tried to take his mind off that memory. He was starting to feel angry for no reason at all and Basti didn’t deserve it.  
They don’t deserve it.

“Of course you’re important. I’m paying attention now. Can you repeat what you said?”

“Should I? Hahaha I’m joking! I wasn't asking anything, I was just saying that I’m surprised that you didn't go downstairs.”

“I decided to wait for you. Don’t you like that I did?”

“Of course I like it, but you know they’re going to make fun of us.”

“Well, they’re family. At least they don't do it with ill intentions or behind our backs.”

“Nooo, of course not. They joke about it right in our faces.”

“Is everything alright? You never get bothered by it.”

“And I'm not. I'm just saying.”

“So stop thinking about it and come here.”

Lukas was still amazed sometimes by how Bastian -- a man so sure of himself, who wasn't afraid to defend his ideas and that doesn’t run away from fights -- follows his most stupid requests when they’re alone.  
When Bastian got close, Lukas looked out the window seeing the horizon while taking Bastian's hand with his own.

“Beautiful, isn't it?”

“Yes. I’ll miss it.”

“We could come back.”

“What?!”

“Eerrhmm...you know, we can come back. You...and Sarah. Me, Louis and Monika.”

He could see Basti thinking, and for a moment Lukas thought he had screwed up, but it was a relationship of 10 years that they had. Some bullshit or another won't do any harm.  
But it doesn't make it easier either. Lukas was feeling self-conscious about everything he’d said and he really didn't get the reason why. Why now? What’s different?  
Basti’s grip on his hand tightened and it made Lukas look at him, and he found himself admiring Basti's smile; small, but there.

“I would love it...but first let's enjoy the day.” Bastian said while getting up.

Lukas couldn’t help himself and got up too, standing there looking at Bastian while he searched for a shirt.  
And it was okay, until he found a strange desire to get close. (And why not do it, he thought,they were alone -- no one to judge, only themselves.)  
And if he was having difficulties and fear about what to say, he was glad that he wasn't feeling the same about what to do.

So he got close, grabbed Bastian’s hips and fit the blond man against his body. Like before,they fit perfectly.

“Huum…Lukas?”

“Yes?”

He loved Basti’s smell, his incredibly white skin, his fit body (strong but more compact than his own). He unconsciously moved his hands, taking them off Basti’s hip and placing them on hislower belly, pulling him closer.  
And Lukas felt even more happy when he felt Basti’s hand over his own.

“Are you ok?”

“Yes, I’m more than okay…” Lukas said while finding a way to Basti’s neck, giving him a small sniff and delicate kiss.

“Hahaha, I noticed, but we need to go downstairs. They’re waiting for us…unless you want to…”

And it brought Lukas back to the present. What he was doing?  
This is wrong!  
What would Bastian would think of him!  
He was glad that some other body parts didn’t really react. He needed to get his shit together.  
They’re friends, nothing more; they can’t be more.  
So he slowly got away from Basti, hands still on his hips. He was fighting his own desire to leave them there when Basti turned to look at him

“YES! You’re right, so put your shirt, Basti.”

Bastian's eyes were a mix of confusion, surprise, and sadness?  
No it can't be.

“…Ok…”

And there it was again: Lukas could swear he heard and saw disappointment in Bastian.  
But he keep repeating that it’s only his mind playing tricks on him. Basti was always a touchy-feely guy and he doesn’t mind that the people he knows touch him; it was normal of him; nothing strange; nothing special; nothing to be excited about.

To Lukas the only way to push those feeling away was to find some distraction, and so he returned to his phone, only to hear Basti call him so both of them could go downstairs.

Bastian was in front of him, so Lukas put his hands on Bastian's shoulders and started to make locomotive sounds. He could feel Basti quietly smiling while saying, “You still haven’t grown up, have you?”

“Naah...I'm eternally young.”

When they get downstairs they are immediately welcomed by Thomas.

“The two loving birds decided to show up again!”

“I was only taking a nap, Thomas. I think I deserve one after all.”

“Sure you do. But what about Lukas?” Thomas said, raising one eyebrow and smirking at them.

Lukas didn't even have time to answer because Bastian put one arm over his shoulder and, also smirking, replied:  
“Yeah Luki, what were you doing while I was sleeping?”

And Lukas saw Thomas happily looking at him, just waiting for the right opportunity to make a joke about whatever he might said. And Bastian didn't help him either – but if they thought that he was unprepared for it they were so wrong.

“I was there admiring the view.” He said, giving a smack on Bastian’s ass and sending Thomas a wink. He smiled at Basti’s yell but did not stay to see their reaction. _'Flawless victory'_ his mind told him, and he simply kept walking, trying to find someone to talk to.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little progress...  
> Soon the things will get a little more hot!

 

Lukas didn't need to go too far to find someone to talk to. Manuel was there and alone. That was a surprise to him.

“Hi, Manu!”

“Lukas! Where were you? You just disappeared!”

“I was upstairs.”

“Tired?”

“No, just trying to get Basti down here.”

“Is he here, or did you give up?”

“He’s here, but it wasn't easy.”

“Well if I was him I would be tired too! I can imagine how difficult it was to bring him back.”

“No it wasn't... the problem was that I almost fell asleep.”

“Hahahaha, to hear you say that is strange. Aren't you two a little too young to start with this old man routine? If it was Miro I would have understood, but…”

“Are you two talking about me?”

“No!” Manu quickly answered, though Lukas told Miro other things with malicious intent.

“Yes, we're talking about how age makes us feel tired and how amazed we are that you’re still up.”   
“Just to inform you two, I'm not old. I'm experienced.”

Lukas smiled at that, he’d always thought that Miro was a little too serious, but the man knew how to separate a joke of a serious matter, and is someone that he could speak with in his mother tongue, and it somehow made him feel comfortable and he was grateful for that -- because when he was young he was terrible and much more energetic than he is now.

But life paid him back: Now with a son, most of the time he didn't know what to do with so much energy.   
Just thinking about it made him smile.

“Keep smiling Lukas. I might be the oldest player, and my speed and reflexes may not be the same, but with age comes resistance.”

“Really?”  
  
“Wanna bet, Manu?”  
  
“Ohoh, he challenged you, Manu!”  
  
“I won’t fall for that.”  
  
“If it were me, I wouldn’t leave quietly.”

And Lukas smiled at Miro, both trying to make Manu fall for it.

But unfortunately Lukas didn't say anything else nor hear what Manu had to say because his eyes and ears were focused on another place. He could see Basti there, smiling and holding Mario. Basti's eyes were so happy and his face so full of emotion -- he knew that expression didn't belong exclusively to him, but to see it being directed at someone else that wasn't Sarah or him gave him a feeling of distress.   
Suddenly he couldn't stay there anymore.   
He had to get away; he couldn’t see that.

“If you guys’ll excuse me, I’m gonna take a break.”

Miro looked confused at him.

“Lukas? You ok?”

“I need fresh air.”

And he left without giving much of an explanation. Lukas knew he was overreacting -- but the feeling was terrible. And to make things worse, when he was walking to a open area he could hear what Basti was saying to Mario.

“Thank you! Thank you! You made it possible. You’ve made me the happiest man in the world.”

And Lukas was sure that Basti was talking about the goal, and he understood Basti needed to talk to Mario -- his friend was always very communicative with the newby; always telling him that even the smallest word of encouragement and recognition could make a big difference.   
But Mario had been complimented enough.   
But not by Basti. Not by himself.   
So Lukas made himself stop and turn. He got close to the two, and, putting his arm over Mario’s shoulders, he complimented the young player.

“Did I tell you that your goal was a-ma-zing?”

“No you didn't. But thank you.”

He wasn't lying when he said it. It was the absolute truth, and Lukas could see how red Mario was getting and how Basti's eyes shined with pride. And that made things a little better.

“Well I’ll leave you two alone.”

When he got outside he took in as much air as he could. He felt like he’d been holding his breath when he’d seen Basti and Mario, and he felt stupid to act in such way. He believed -- no, he knew -- that the problem was himself. All of this is because he wanted to take things one step further with Basti, but hadn’t found the courage.   
It's was like every insecurity, every fear, had become apparent and was holding him down.   
The sense that time was running out was also overhwlming. How long could he prolong this without it becoming 2006 all over again?   
He didn't know how much time had passed while he was thinking of the several possibilities that taking action would lead, but it was long enough for him to be surprised that Philipp was there.

Philipp looked at him for a brief moment, then return to looking at nothing and said:

“Just in case you're asking why I'm here... this might be my last World Cup. I'm not leaving without being honest with you.”

“What are you talking about? You're young! We’ll play many more games together.”

But Philipp’s silence left him anxious.

“Yeah, you're right. I think I just to drank too much.”

And they stayed in silence for a while, until he heard a sigh and Philipp started to talk again.”

“We did it and I'm still trying to process it.”

“Yeah.”  
  
“Lukas, I know that it has nothing to do with me, but ... you know that you don't have to hide anything from us, don't you?”

Lukas felt a frosty sensation in the pit of his stomach. He had an idea about what Philipp was saying, but he really didn't want to talk about it -- or to know that anyone suspected anything.

“...Hey, Lukas, we know it wasn't easy, but we think that you deserve this moment even if it’s just for one night.”

“I'm not following.”  
  
“I'm talking about you and Basti.”  
  
“What about us?”  
  
“What isn't about the two of you?”  
  
“Look, I get the jokes and all -- I even entertain some -- but we’re just friends.”

Lukas didn't like the look on Philipp's face. He felt like the older man was pitying him. He didn't need it. There's nothing to be pitied about.

“Look, how long have we known each other?”

He decided to ignore Phil (the guy deserved it after all).

“I’ve been here since Basti had horrible hair taste and you a horrible attitude... and since that time you two were inseparable... since that time the looks and touches between you and him were different from the ones you two share with us.”

That was enough. He wouldn’t stay there listening to Philipp, of all the players, dissect his relationship with Bastian.

“We’re done here…”

But Philipp got on his way, raised his hand and used all his captian posture to make him stay there and listen.

“Some of us didn't like it; others found it cute; I thought it as just a phase. But it’s been ten years, Lukas. Ten years of highs and lows and you two still share the same happiness to be close to each other.”

“Look, this is getting too sappy. We should meet the others and have fun and not have this girly talk.”

“Could you listen just for one moment? I don't know what’s stopping you two -- I just want you to know that the team is okay with it.”

“The team? And why the hell are you talking about this with me like it’s only up to me? Why not talk to Schweini too?

“There’s no need to tell him. He loves you; as a friend, a colleague. I believe football without you wouldn’t be the same for him. He’s said it. Don't you see?”

“I...I..”

Philipp put his hand on Lukas’ arm and continued.

“Lukas, we aren't fools. The world won't change so fast and so easily, so all I wanted to say is that you have our ultimate support and discretion.”

Lukas smiled at Philipp, who returned it.

“You earned this right. This day is already special and will always be remembered. Why not make it even more memorable, my friend?”  
  
“Philipp, you can't be serious.”  
  
“Oh but I am. Now go and find him... we aren't getting any younger.”

And this made him feel young. So young that he almost returned to the main hall running. (He really had to use all his strength not to run into Bastian and hold him). And as close as he got, the clearer Basti’s laugh became.   
When he finally got close enough he saw his Basti and Thomas playing card games, and they appeared to really be into it. 

Whatever it was, it made Basti laugh, and he loved his laugh and his smile. He always knew that he loved seeing Basti happy and that was one of the reasons why he always joked and made pranks when he was close to his friend -- just to see his smile one more time, just to hear his laugh a little longer.   
And this World Cup had even brung him the chance to film this moment. That image he had taken on his cellphone of a smiling Basti walking in his direction will be something he’ll never erase.

“I WON! YOUR TURN TO TAKE A SHOT!!”

And Lukas looked at the two men at the table.

“YOU cheated, Thooomas...you cheater…”   
“You did it too; I just did it better.”

And while Basti drank whatever his drink was, he got close to congratulate the winner.

“Hi, Lukas ... do you waaaant ... hic ... to play?”

“Don't do this, Poldi...he is devious...he will play mind games with yooou…” Basti told him while leaning close to him trying to find balance.

“Dude, you're wasted!”

“I'm not!” Basti said, leaning his head dangerously close to Lukas’ crotch that Lukas felt the need to push his friend from there.

“Come on, Schweini, let's get up.”

He helped Basti while Manu helped Thomas whom was giggling uncontrollably.

“WOOOW...man...now I feel HIGH!”

“Hey...hey...YOU...Bastiii! How are you feeling?”

“I'm feeling silly. Very silly.”

Lukas saw Manu rolling his eyes and while Manu took Thomas to the sofa, he brought Basti to some corner, away from their teammates.”

Bastian leaned on a countertop while he got a glass of water.

“And I thought you were the responsible one.”

Basti held the glass and after drinking it like a desperate man replied:

“He dared me.”  
  
“And you fell for it?”  
  
“...It's not like we haven’t done it before.”

And Basti was right. (They’d done that and other things worse than that). And that was when Lukas noticed Basti’s glassy eyes looking at him. He didn't get any kind of message from them or anything like that -- he just felt that he could get close. That he should get close.   
So close that the gap between them was practically nonexistent. He grabbed Basti’s hair and gave him a kiss that ended as soon as it began, because Basti started to laugh and didn't stop.   
Lukas felt a pang in his chest...   
He’d been right since the beginning. They're just friends, nothing more.

“Poldi, you're doing it wrong.”  
  
“What?”

Basti gave him an annoyed look and kissed him back, opening his mouth, giving access to him, but he froze and didn't do nothing until Basti hit him on the side of his head.   
Lukas didn't know what to expect. He was kissing Basti. Truly kissing Basti -- and then he didn't think anymore, he let his body act. He wanted to devour Basti, and he felt like doing it. He hold Basti with all his strength and his kiss slowly become more and more possessive -- eight years of repression and desire wanting to come out full force, and Lukas felt amazing. It was so natural, so right, like nothing could stop them. Nothing could get in their way –

“Ouch!”

And it was over, Basti pulling away, holding his cheek.

“Poldi! Be careful, I don't want the stitches to open.”

“Sorry.”

He was a disaster. They're were so into it that he forgot that Basti was hurt from the game. But he hadn't even started to feel guilty when he was interrupted by Basti's laugh.

“Hahahaha ... I need to sit down.”

And Bastian sat on the cold floor, while Lukas stayed on his feet without knowing what to do until Basti looked at him.

“Hey, big man, sit down with me.”

And so he did. Basti soon put his head on his shoulder and complained.

“I'm sooo drunk.”

“How drunk?”

“Enough to feet like the floor is soft. Like walking on a cloud.”

“You don't know what it’s like to walk on a cloud.”  
  
“I don't, but I can imagine it.”

And they sat in silence. Lukas was feeling so happy and, not only now, but for the last two months, the entire preparation for the World Cup and the World Cup itself had been like a reboot of 2008(but with a better end). He felt that now he had the maturity, the strength, to do what they both wanted. He put his hand on Basti's thigh when he felt that his friend was starting to weigh more against his side.

“Schweini?”

“Huum?”  
  
“Do you really mean it?”  
  
“What?”

“The kiss. Do you really mean it? It’s not just a drunk flick?”

Bastian pulled his head from Lukas' shoulder, and Lukas thought for a second that he would face an angry Basti (He kind of deserved it. What kind of question was that?) But instead he found a very calm Basti raising his eyebrows.

“Do I look like someone who goes around kissing everyone?”

“Well you did it not too long ago.”

'Shut the fuck up' Lukas mentally told himself. He wanted to kick himself in the balls.

“Poldi...shut up and don't ruin this moment.”

That's all Basti said -- and to his surprise Basti again leaned on him, but this time on his lap. Lukas even opened his mouth to talk, but decided against it, being content in just pet Basti's head.   
They completely lost track of time, both immersed in the moment, both of them seeing the situation in a different light, but both thinking it was perfect.   
And WAS was the right word, because a distracted Per found them, leaving everyone scared.

“Dear GOD! I almost had a heart attack! What are you guys doing here?! Okay...okay, forget about it, I don't want to know! You guys are insane!? You two were lucky it was me who found you two. Imagine what it would be like if it had been Thomas? Or Jogi? Or one of the kids! Aaah, Jesus...the kids... those youth are the future of our football...you guys aren't going to say anything? Basti? Lukas?”

Lukas looked at Basti, who appeared to be too comfortable on his lap to answer, so he did.

“Well...I was waiting for my turn.”  
  
“Ooh. Sorry. It was just...well...you two really scared me.”  
  
“It's okay. I imagine it must be strange to come here and find two men togeth--”

“Yeah it was scary entering a place thinking it was empty just to find two shadows moving in a pitch black corner.”

And Lukas had to admit he wasn't expecting that answer. For some reason he thought that Per would be disturbed to find them there, but then again, Per know them for so long and never even joked about how close they are. (And even so Lukas could’nt help but think the worst -- even after all that Philipp said).   
Was he that scared of what the others would think?   
Of what the others would say or do?   
Does Basti feel this anguish too?

Lukas didn't get his answer, but he felt Basti getting up with Per’s help. Both stood in front of him while Basti offered him a hand.

“Let's go, Poldi. I have to find Thomas and beat him in that stupid game.”  
  
“Really? Why don't you admit you just want to get smashed again. Just say it and I’ll go with you.”  
  
“No, no and no. This time is serious. I’ll beat that chatterbox to show him who’s boss.”

And just like that Basti left he and Per alone.

“Wow, sometimes I forget how competitive he can be.”  
  
“Hahaha, let's follow him Per. I don't want to lose this rematch.”  
  
“What you don't want to miss is the view of that ass while he walks.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Nothing.”

And before he could do anything Per used those long legs of his to get away.

“Hey! Wait for me!”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok   
> New chapter posted and a little bit of progress.   
> I have exalted Bastian's football, and I know he is an excellent player but far from perfect (my opnion) but I thought it made sense in the fic,   
> But an aside, the next chapter will be M-rated (NSFW).   
> Until then, thanks for the kudos, comments and incentives.

 

Lukas was enjoying a caipirinha while watching Thomas and Basti play. It was all about memory and luck, but when Thomas made a mistake he couldn't help but hold the glass a little too much.

Basti will win, he knew that.

And Thomas too, so he took all the cards that were left and shuffled them again with an enormous smile.  
Some players laughed, other complained, and Basti's eyes were wide in disbelief.  
Lukas saw as Basti stopped to choose a card and then the other, finding a match.  
Smiling, his Basti shuffled the cards and challenged Thomas while raising one eyebrow.  
But if Basti had luck, Thomas didn't.

"Hahaha! I won! I fucking won!"

Basti jump over the table that was separating them, throwing he and Thomas to the ground.

Bastian screamed "I won! I won!" while laughing and shaking Thomas.  
It was fun, but it was also clear that both men were a little drunk. So Lukas got close and tried to get Basti's attention.

"Schweini, you won. There's no need to try to kill Thomas."

At first Lukas thought that Basti had understood him. Both he and Thomas got up, Basti turning to face him.  
But then Thomas jumped on Basti's back.   
Thomas didn't said anything, didn't do anything -- he simply jumped and screamed and laughed at no one.  
Lukas suspected it was the caipirinhas effect. The thing is, while seeing that, he just joined them, embracing Basti and Thomas, and together they started to jump back and forth.

"You won! He won! WE WON!" Lukas screamed while jumping with them. Later he thought that was ridiculous, (but he's Prince Poldi he can be ridiculous and still awesome at the same time).  
The fact is, it was an amazing night for an unforgettable day.

After hours of music, jokes, Thomas talking and drinks, they called it a night. They needed at least some hours of rest for their travel back to Germany.

But before he got to sleep, Lukas was psychologically preparing himself to invite himself to Basti's bedroom. To his surprise though it wasn't necessary. They stopped in front of Basti's bedroom, shared some swearing and a light punch on the shoulder before saying 'good night' -- and then, Basti left his door open. Lukas stopped to think for a moment. Did his friend forget to close the door, or was it a sign?  
 _'For God's sake man ,get in!'_  
And he obeyed himself.  
When he got inside he found Basti sitting on the bed looking at him.

"So..."

He simply stood there, trying to say something -- anything -- but nothing came to mind.

"Luki? You normally aren't this ... quiet."

And finally Lukas found himself able to react. He got close to Basti, grabbed a scarf that was on the bed and wrapped it around Basti's neck.  
After doing it, Basti touched the scarf now on his neck and looked at him with wide and confused eyes.

"I like when you use these stupid scarves. It suits you."

Basti's lovely smile was as good as scoring a goal.

Lukas couldn't resist using the improvised scarf as he pulled Basti up and kissed him with the same intensity as their early kiss.  
And when he felt Basti bring them to lie on the bed he didn't complain. In fact he helped; practically flinging the them both. His excitement made Basti give an uncomfortable mumble, interrupting their kissing and putting a hand on his chest.  
Lukas just stayed still, enjoying the feeling of Basti's body so close to his, innocently thinking that it couldn't get better.

Bastian took the initiative, opening his legs for Lukas to fit in between them.  
Lukas was taken by surprise. (Not that he didn't want it, but because he didn't think Basti would do such a thing). He didn't want to waste the opportunity. He was more than enjoying himself, but when Basti wrapped his legs around him he simply couldn't control himself. He felt himself hardening and felt a little embarrassed.  
Bastian noticed and brought his hands to hold Lukas' face and kiss him.  
Feeling a little more comfortable, Lukas put his hand under Basti's clothing, caressing him. He soon found Basti's nipples, squeezing them -- Basti's girly yell making him laugh.  
Basti grabbed a pillow and started to hit him.

"You asshole, stop making fun of it."

"Sorry, sorry..." Lukas said, raising his hand in a surrendering gesture.

"I couldn't help myself. Come here, let me do it again."

"Nooo." Bastian answered holding his chest.

"Dude don't do this, you look ridiculous." Lukas said, going after Basti, trying to pry his hands from his chest. Basti tried to defend himself and poked Lukas' side, making him giggle.

"Don't you dare, Basti."

"If you come any closer I will."

A challenge. For Lukas it was fine; he could bear some tickling if the prize was Basti's shrieking.   
He got closer and closer, smiling.

"Lukas? Poldi? Luki?"

That anxious look on Basti's face was irresistible. Lukas jumped on Basti, not giving him a chance to fight back. For some strange reason their make out slowly turned into a subtle fight, with him losing. He had to reverse the situation, so he grabbed a blanket and tried to roll Basti into it, (almost succeeding). He pushed Basti off him, throwing him back on the bed, holding him by his wrists above his head.

"You quit?"

"I don't know..."

Lukas didn't know what made him do it, but he tried to bite Basti's nipples, clothing and everything else still in the way, and listening to Basti's little yelp was enough to make him smile maliciously at him.

"Now do you quit?"

Basti's angry frown didn't scare him off. He knows Basti well enough to differentiate a truly angry expression from a sportive one (and he was failing miserably in his opinion).

"This is unfair!"

And Lukas did it again and again, trying to hold a squirming Basti that was trying to get away.

"OK! Ok! I quit! I quit! Stop it!" Basti said, giving small slaps on Lukas' back.

Lukas stopped his assault and looked at a flushed Basti tiredly slapping his thigh.  
He then grabbed Basti's hand, stroking it with his thumb while admiring his friend. Seeing Basti under him, panting, blushing with his eyes closed and wearing that scarf was one of the most beautiful -- he would even dare to say sexy -- things he had ever seen. He smiled, shaking his head, trying to focus on what to say.

"I didn't know you were so sensitive."

Basti opened his eyes and answered. 

"Neither did I."

Lukas gave Basti a small kiss on the lips and got off him, laying beside him. Both were holding hands looking at the ceiling.

"What we are doing anyway?"

"We...I..."

He turn his head to look at Basti and could see him starting to over think the last few minutes. Lukas was stuck on whether or not he should do something or let Basti digest the information.  
Lukas didn't want to admit it but he was afraid that if Basti thought too much he would regret everything, and that was the last thing he wanted to happen -- so he squeezed Basti's hand, calling his attention.

"I'm confused too."

Bastian's small smile was enough for him understand that Basti felt the same amount of uneasiness, but Basti's eyes showed that he wanted him to do something about it. Anything. Lukas felt that Basti wanted him to make a decision for them -- but could he?  
His lack of response made Basti look to the ceiling again, and it allowed him to act. He brought Basti closer to him until he felt his back on his chest and pulled the blond man into his arms. He just stayed still, listening to Basti breathing, trying to make his lowers parts calm down and planting small kisses on his shoulder.

"I don't want to screw up what we already have. I can't lose it, Luki."

"You won't..."

"What we're doing will end what he already have."

"Schweini ... You aren't making us do anything that we haven't already thought about at least once or twice."

"Are you sure? I kissed you; I let my door open for you; I simply opened my legs for you. The only thing I haven't done is say it. I'm disgusting. You have a wife and a son for God's sake."

After saying this Basti started to pull away from him. In his own panic Lukas held him with all his might. Deep inside he knew that if he let Basti go it would be worse than rejecting him or going forward on what they started.   
And that made Lukas realize one simple but extremely important thing: during all this time, he was always focused on how he felt about Basti. His own insecurities, his own doubts, his fears of rejection and criticism, his values and morals -- he never stopped to think that Basti could be going through the same dilemmas.

It made him see their interactions from a different perspective.

Every touch, smile, joke that, for him -- despite being funny -- are sources of more doubt, desire and angst, and probably had the same affect on Basti. In fact it was probably worse, since when they were younger, the moment someone got on their mind, the idea of calling him Prince, and Basti the chosen one, their lives were being watched. Their decisions, (any of them), started to be judged. And it was even worse for his friend.   
Basti is the general of the German midfield; their chosen one; the personification of what Beckenbauer, Klinsmann and so many other think of an ideal football player. One wrong decision and everyone would be at his neck. Combine that with all this doubt and conflict. It must be a really heavy weight to carry. 

"Basti, you aren't disgusting. You're my best friend, and there's nothing in this world that would make me see you as anything but beautiful, intelligent and unique."

Basti turned his head to give him a little smile.

"That's cute. I think my makeup's running."

"Oh really? Are you sure you're not on your period?"

"You ass!" Basti said, giving him a little nudge. 

Lukas held Basti's arm, laughing  while he shook the blond man, trying to physically shake those thoughts away.

"Schweini? Are we okay?"

After some silence Basti answered.

"We always are, aren't we?"

"You're right...are we done here?"

"Well...you were worshiping me."

"You liked?"

"I found it acceptable."

He put them back in their old position, holding Basti with his legs and arms.

"What can I do to please you, mein Hase?"

Basti made some noises, pretending to be thinking very hard about it.

"You can start by calling me Hase again, and returning to the kissing; then if I'm satisfied, I may consider giving you a bigger prize, my prince."

"And what would it be?"

"You have to work to find it out."

So Lukas cleared his mind to accomplish the task given to him. It was easy for him since he kind of secretly wanted to do it for years. But it wasn't easy to let go of Basti, even if only for a second, or stay still while Basti started to take his shirt off -- starting with the handmade scarf.  
No -- not the scarf.  
And he held Basti's hand.

"Don't take the scarf off."

Basti's look was amazing to see, and he had to fight really hard against the desire to make a joke about it. (Even more so while seeing him fumbling with something as simple as taking a shirt off).   
Holding his laugh Lukas helped Basti, only to be graced by the sight of his naked torso and messy hair.  
"It would be so much easier if I could have taken it off." Basti said, shaking the scarf. "You're weird."

"But you love my weirdness."  
Lukas laid Basti on the bed, getting on top of him.

"Hey! You're not gonna take your shirt off too?"

"Not now. You said I was worshiping you and that I have to earn my prize, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"So that's what I'm gonna do, mein Hase. I will earn my prize..."

And he couldn't say much more. Basti pulled him close, giving him an eskimo kiss -- and that was the sexiest thing they had ever done in his opinion.

"Dear God I'm really weird"

While in the middle of all their euphoria, neither Basti nor Lukas thought about what was distressing them a few moments ago. For some amazing minutes what the other might think didn't matter; there was nothing else in the world but the two of them.  
To Lukas those minutes were something he tattooed on his mind, and was something that he would never let anything in the world tarnish. For him it wasn't the end of a long-time friendship, it was the strengthening of the same.

Like Basti once said, even before that, they were already in a relationship that neither understood very well -- and after this world championship, after this night -- he didn't see that changing. But deep down, despite giving in to his curiosities and desires, for a brief moment, Basti revealed himself: guilty and confused about his feelings. It was clear to Lukas that they shared the same doubts, and that they were simply ignoring old problems.  
But that was what they always did, and it's been working so far.  
So why change it?  
Lukas' only hope was that he wouldn't regret his decision to ignore it.

 


	6. NSFW Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came back with my chapter NSFW.  
> I tried to write something different, having in mind that they were always straight, and that they never did that before.  
> Another point is that I had to ignore Lukas tattoo, the one with the face of his son, it is very beautiful that he loves his son so much, but that tattoo does not match with anything remotely hot.  
> I hope you like... because NSFW is complicated for me to write because I have a preference for more aggressive things, and I do not think it fits with them, so I have to hold myself while writing this chapter.
> 
> Hope you guys like it!

 

Lukas started kissing Basti's shoulders, chest, nipples, belly and navel. There wasn't a part of the blond's naked torso that he hadn't kissed.

Listening to Basti's giggles, Lukas noticed that Basti was sensitive in his navel area too, so he kept kissing him until he felt Basti's hands on his head.

 "Lukiii..."

 Lukas smiled and firmly grabbed Basti's thigh. He put more strength on his hold, wanting to leave a mark to be remembered before sucking the area. Basti's giggles soon became noises of pleasure and he finally saw Basti's erection.

 He pulled Basti's shorts off, opening his legs -- how he loved those creamy white legs, the toned muscles -- and he started to kiss Basi's inner thigh. That was when Basti got tense, so he returned to kissing and suck his belly and discreetly tried to take Basti's underwear off but unfortunately didn't get too far because just then Basti stopped him.

 "Wait..." Basti said, his face as red as a tomato.

 Lukas looked at him, feeling the need to ensure Basti that he was listening.

 "What it is?"

 "I'm feel naked."

 "That's the idea."

 "But you aren't. I'm don't feel comfortable with you so overdressed compared to me."

 Of course he understood Basti's reasoning and so he take off his shirt.

 "Better now?"

 Basti didn't answer, but he wasn't complaining anymore, so Lukas returned to his main task -- that was, to get Basti naked -- and he'd succeeded, but Basti put his hands down to cover himself.

 "Come on, Schweini! Didn't you wanted me to worship you?"

 "Yes! But...it's strange."

 Lukas got close and kissed Basti's cheek; then his nose; his chin. He even dared to bite his lip.

 "Relax...there's nothing here that I haven't seen before."

 He noticed the hesitation, but eventually Basti took his hand away, giving Lukas free access. 

Lukas on the other hand sucked Basti's nipples trying to make him more comfortable, knowing how good Basti felt when he did that and wanting to listen to his noises. Lukas wouldn't admit it, but those noises were important to him -- because like Basti, he didn't feel entirely comfortable with touching another man's cock, even if it was Basti.

 So without looking, and listening only to the delicious noises, he gave Basti three firm strokes and, after what he considered a positive groan, slowly brought his fingers to Basti's hole, just stroking the area. He didn't really think, and without a warning he put his finger in.

Basti screamed in surprise, pushing Lukas and shifting his legs.

 "Sorry ... sorry."

 Lukas was nervous. Did he hurt Basti or was it only a surprised reaction?

 "Are you ok?"

 "Yeah I'm fine, but slow down, okay? Not so fast!"

 "Okay...okay...I'm sorry!"

 When he noticed that Basti had calmed down he started to caress him again (more like a massaging), but something wasn't right -- and he wasn't the only one to think so, because after a few moments Basti pulled him close and used his own body to put him on his back.

 "You're doing it wrong."

 "And you know the right way of doing it?!"

 He didn't want to appear annoyed, but he sounded that way.

Basti didn't answered, but he sat down on Lukas' lap and started to wiggle his hips.

 Lukas thought he would combust in his pants like a teenager. The situation was so strange and so erotic -- and extremely hot!

 "Where did you learn that?" Lukas asked, panting.

 "Well I had...I...I have a girlfriend."

 Lukas quickly started to talk. They can't think about things that would make them regret this.

 "So this mean you're my...?"

 "Don't you dare call me a woman..."

 " _Hase_?"

 Lukas gave a wide smile and put his hands on Basti's hips, helping him with his hip movements.

 "You know, if you keep doing that I won't last much longer."

 "So soon?"

 Basti's provocation had stirred his inner fire. He captured Basti's lips in a fiery kiss. Teeth clashed and his tongue pushed to be inside Basti's mouth. He keep exploring Basti's mouth when the midfielder gave a little laugh, breaking the kiss. 

 "Now we're talking."

 "I don't wanna talk. Bring your mouth back here."

 Basti smiled and obeyed, pressing his body closer to Lukas enveloping him in his arms. Suddenly Lukas remembered that Basti was completely naked. 

His hands traveled to Basti's ass giving it a squeeze, one of his hands moving closer and closer to Basti's hole.

 "Hey...hey...I said it's too soon." Basti said, taking Lukas' hand away (but at the same time moving his own hands down over Lukas' stomach, towards the front of his pants).

A shiver ran through Lukas' body when Basti's fingers slipped inside his pants.

 "What, you're...?"

 Lukas couldn't even finished what he was trying to say because as Basti grabbed him under his pants, his mind went blank and his pants had never felt so small.

 "I won't be the only one naked here."

 Bastian almost immediately took Lukas' pants off and made sure to take off his boxers straight away as well. 

Lukas was feeling deliciously nervous, and Basti's very pleased expression -- while his eyes traveled his body -- left him in an almost unbearable state of anticipation of what was going to happen next. That to him was very clear.

Lukas' lips were parted slightly, his breathing just a bit fast, chest rising and falling with every breath. 

He felt his abdomen tightening a little when Basti's eyes moved lower and lower until they are on his hard length.

He was feeling a little shy, he couldn't deny that, but he was also curious as to what Basti would do.

Basti got on the bed again. One leg was swung over Lukas and the other followed suit and soon Basti was straddling Lukas' legs, trapping him between his body and the bed.

He could see Basti biting his lips, looking hungrily at him (at least he thought so).

 Lukas couldn't help but put his hands behind his head and proudly smile at Basti.

 "Like what you see?"

 Basti's hand travel his sides.

 "You're quite rough on the edges."

 "Then lucky me that you're soft." -- Lukas says, giving Basti a wink.

 Basti narrows his eyes and moves closer, practically lying on top of Lukas, his erection pressing against Lukas' stomach slightly.

Lukas was already having problems controlling himself, but now that they were both naked and he finally had Basti in his lap, he needed to touch him; feel him; posses him. 

 So he grabbed Basti's head and brought him close, his lips attached to the junction between Basti's neck and his shoulder, sucking it lightly as his hands moved around Basti's body until they finally touched those soft yet firm ass cheeks.

 But Lukas wanted more. He demand more. But he also knew that if he went too fast Basti would stop him, so for a time he just kept fondling Basti's ass cheeks, squeezing them lightly; spreading them apart. -- which was kind of frustrating.

How he wanted Basti to know that he just wanted to move this along and fuck him until they forgot which body belonged to whom, to put it bluntly. Still he kept doing everything slow, because that was what Basti liked. 

 Lukas was taking his time, kissing, sucking, touching, until Basti was ready to just let him make him fall apart.

 It took some time, but eventually he took one hand off Basti's ass to bring close to Basti mouth, who looked at him puzzled.

 "Come on Basti, don't make a face. You know what you need to do."

 "We don't have anything else?"

 "We didn't exactly plan this." Lukas said, his fingers lingering on Basti's lips, who hesitantly opened his mouth -- but didn't take the fingers inside. 

Lukas helped him, putting three finger in Basti's mouth with so much enthusiasm that Basti gagged a little. (That didn't stop him though, and he didn't complain, which, to Lukas. was amazing news).

 

Lukas didn't even get to appreciate the moment because Basti soon put his own arms around Lukas neck, who in turn took his fingers out of Basti's mouth, and pulled him into another kiss. 

Basti groaned softly when he felt a cold wet finger slide over his ass crack. He pushed his tongue inside Lukas mouth, trying to communicate what he wanted Lukas to do.

 And Lukas instinctively knew what to do. He found some resistance and could feel that Basti was desperately kissing him (probably to take his mind somewhere else. Basti stopped kissing him and hisses when Lukas' finger breaches his entrance, clenching instinctively. Lukas places a soft kiss on his cheek as a silent apology.

 He gives Basti some time, and then tries again. It was visible how Basti was trying to relax, eyes showing reluctance and some slight fear -- and Lukas slowly drove his finger deeper inside him, noticing the hand gripping the back of his neck while another was entangled with Lukas'. Basti clenched both hands and brought Lukas closer for another kiss.

When their lips separated, Lukas was staring up at Basti intently, a strange expression on his face.

 "Are you ok?"

 "Yes. It's just ... strange." Basti said, pushing his hips down on Lukas' finger. Lukas found it funny how Basti's face changed when he moved his finger inside him.

 He didn't know what to think or what he felt exactly when Basti said:

"I’m not delicate; I can handle it..."

Lukas believed that Basti was saying it more to himself than to him.

 Basti threw a weak glare at Lukas, and tried to maintain some semblance of control. He was surprised to see Basti start to fuck himself on his finger, moving up and down, soft gasps leaving his lips. 

 "Another..." He breathed out, and Lukas gladly complied, his own hips bucking up in need. 

This was just so… hot. 

The way Basti seemed to need this so badly, not even being able to wait for more. 

Basti groaned out again when the second finger was wriggled inside. Lukas even take the liberty to scissor him as Basti kept pushing his hips down on the fingers.

Lukas too was feeling a wave of strange sensations. First Basti's body so close to his, then their cocks rubbing with Basti's ministrations, and for last the warmth of Basti's insides.

It was as good as it was frustrating. He wanted to fuck Basti. He needed to.

But he was also curious about Basti's reaction. He'd never given pleasure to a man that wasn't himself -- and never in that forbidden place.

While thinking he pushed his fingers as deep as he could, receiving a little whine from Basti.

He was truly curious. A third finger was something that Lukas wasn't sure if Basti was ready for, but he wanted to listen to that whine; he wanted his dick inside Basti -- and it would make things easier, wouldn't it?

 "What are you thinking?"

 Basti hadn't even said yes and he was pushing the third finger in. Basti hissed, one hand holding his pulse, trying to control the pace. Lukas found it nice. A little power play. Basti didn't really stop him and he hadn't really forced his way inside, but maybe it was the inexperience. Maybe it was miscommunication. The thing is, Lukas hadn't expected Basti would release his hand, and so he accidentally shoved the three fingers inside on the push.

Basti yelled and started to move away, but Lukas was faster and held him in place with one arm, caressing his back.

He was taking his fingers out, when Basti, with his head on Lukas' chest, between little whines said:

 "Stop! Don't move. They're already inside, just give me a minute."

 To Lukas it didn't make sense, but then again he wasn't the one with three fingers in his ass. So he did what Basti asked him to -- he waited.

Basti didn't say anything to him. He just raised his head, looked at him and nodded. And slowly he started to move his fingers again.

At first he thought about stopping everything. He knew the difference between expressions of pleasure and discomfort, and by the looks of it, Basti's face didn't appear to be a pleasant one.

Before he stopped though, he saw how Basti's eyelashes fluttered after a thrust from a different angle. And so he did it again and again, and Basti responded: his lips parted to let out soft gasps and groans and he started to push himself down harder on his fingers.

The sigh was so mesmerizing that Lukas soon found himself pushing his fingers all the way inside, his hand meeting Basti's movements of ups and downs. All of that while he was graced with Basti's flushed cheeks, accentuating that even Basti's pale skin could hold a bit of colour.

 Without a word Basti lifted himself up high enough so that the fingers slipped out and Lukas knew what to do next.

 Holding onto Basti with both hands aligning him above his cock, he slowly guiding him downward.

Basti's hands grasped Lukas' shoulders tightly, using them as leverage to move himself up and then he slid down on Lukas' length.

It was excruciatingly slow. Lukas had to use all his strength not to move and shove himself in. Basti groaned, whined, hissed, made all kinds of faces and sounds until he managed to fit Lukas' head in. Lukas on the other hand felt completely powerless and frustrated. He'd barely gotten a taste of how it felt to be inside Basti and already Basti was lifting away.

 "I can't."

 "You can, Schweini. You're doing it."

 ' _Please, man, you can! I'm gonna burst here_!'

 "No I can't, you're too big."

 "Schweini?  _Mein Hase_? You had three fingers inside not too long ago."

 Basti gave him an annoyed face.

 "It's not the same! Do I need to put them side by side to show you the difference?"

 "Calm down, okay?"

 "I'm calm, it's just...I'm trying to do it right, but I can't fit you in."

 "This is the strangest conversation we've ever had."

 "This is the strangest thing we've ever done, so it's expected."

 Lukas spit in his hand then and brought it to his cock.

 "That's disgusting, Lukas."

 "It'll help you."

 "I can't believe I'm putting a cock inside my ass -- much less one that's been spat on."

 Despite Basti's complaint they keep trying. It took some time, some whines, some frustration, but eventually Basti got Lukas all in.

Lukas could even describe how amazing it was: Basti was so tight; so hot that Lukas felt like a teenager, almost coming just from getting inside.

 But things got even better when Basti suddenly started rolling his hips and as he moved up a little, his walls clenching down a little more and forced noises from Lukas' throat. 

 Lukas wasn't sure if Basti was teasing him or really just finding a better way to fuck himself on Lukas' cock.

 Hips were moved back a little and Basti had to lean forward slightly to keep his body close to Lukas', but then when he moved his body down again, he had finally found the right position. Groaning out he buried his face in Lukas' neck, wrapping his arms around it as he picked up a nice and steady pace.

 Lukas was so lost in all the sensations he was feeling he'd unintentionally overlooked Basti's cock as well, only remembering it when he felt one of Basti's hands leave his neck to reach for his own length and stroke it frantically, trying to keep up with his own pace.

Basti still having his face buried in Lukas' neck suddenly bit down hard, groaning around the flesh as his orgasm suddenly hit him. 

Lukas could feel Basti's walls clench around him and his body went rigid.

It was then that he to started moving so Basti could ride out his own orgasm, shaking like a leaf and soon falling completely limp in Lukas' arms.

 It was something that Lukas never thought he would see in his life: Basti so completely spent, with no strength left, all defenseless and vulnerable to the rest of his desires. 

 Lukas lifted Basti off him by his hips, laying him on the bed. 

Lukas was still hard and Basti stared up at him waiting for him to continue. This was a look he liked on Basti, how his face retorted in such beautiful ways when he slowly pulled back out of him and then slammed in hard.

 Basti's hair got messier with every thrust and his lips parted (though ultimately no sound escaped), and Lukas started to let out groan after groan, unable to hold it inside him.

 Basti admired such a thing, and that's why he didn't mind coming earlier, because he got to see this: Lukas losing control; got to see how the whole world disappeared for Lukas --except for him.

And of course he noticed how Lukas was doing his best to keep his eyes open and look at him, making sure he was okay, but also making sure he was still there.

 Lukas was amazed at how Basti's body trembled, how his insides still gripping him. It was like he still having an orgasm. It was almost too much for him to handle.

He could feel his length twitching inside Basti as Basti opened his legs a little further.

 Come inside me, it said.

 And Lukas gladly would.

Leaning forward to kiss Basti again he groaned loudly, muffling his own sounds. His thrusts became erratic and his body shook.

 Reaching forward Basti grabbed a hold of Lukas' ass and pulled him in as deep as he could, keeping him completely still as he came deep inside of him.

A shudder ran through Lukas' body when Basti finally released him and he slowly pulled out, falling onto the bed.

 Lukas watched his cum drip from Basti's ass as both men tried to catch their breath.

They stayed like that for a while, one lying on the bed and the other sitting.

 "Wow! We should do it again." Lukas said, still breathless but amazed by what happened.

Basti tried to say something but only noises came out him.

 "You in?"

 Finally opening his eyes, Basti looked at him. Lukas would keep this to himself forever (despite the enormous need to share with the fans) -- but Basti's exhausted smile was something indescribable. And he did it. They did it. (Yeah I'm awesome.)

 "No way. It feels like you're still inside me."

 "That was a hell of an incentive for me to get junior here up and ready." Lukas said while getting close to Basti, grabbing his hips bringing and his ass close to him. Only to recieve a little pat. 

 "You can stop right there. I'm not so easy."

 "Dude, it's been ten years! You're far from easy."

 "I didn't finish. For junior to get another taste of this magnificent body, you need to earn it."

 "Name it, my dear."

 "I want a romantic dinner, or a VIP ticket to see my basketball team playing. Or a weekend in Ibiza for free..."

 "A breakfast in bed?"

 And Basti, smiling, only nodded.

 Lukas knew that Basti could afford everything he'd asked for, but why not indulge a thing or two -- it's not like he was doing it just to get laid again. Far from it. If it happens again it's a bonus, but Basti is his dearest friend. They've have done so many things together. So even if he said all that as a joke, why not surprise him by doing it for real?

Lukas was contemplating what to do for Basti when Basti got up from bed.

 "Where are you going?"

 "Taking a shower. I'm not going to sleep like this. I recommend you do the same if you wanna sleep here."

 "I can sleep here?!"

 "Only if you take a shower."

 Lukas was so happy inside that he took a while to say something.

 "Can I shower with..."

 And Basti closed the door.

Lukas wanted to kick himself. Why had he taken so long?

But soon the door opened again, and Basti, with a slightly insecure voice realized his dreams.

 "Yeah...I think you can."

 Basti promptly ducked inside the bathroom again. Lukas wanted to show that he wasn't too excited about it on his part and tried to get there as calmly as possible. (Despite his sweaty hands suggesting otherwise).

 He knew that they would probably never get to the point where they admitted their feelings, but this night -- this moment of intimacy that they shared was enough for him. Lukas liked to think that it meant more to them than they would ever admit.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The day after!  
> This one is from Poldi's side.  
> Next one will be Basti!

When Lukas woke up he thought that he was still sleeping. Basti was there next to him, holding his pillow as if his life depended on it, mouth open, a small strand of drool running from it. In any other situation he would probably make a joke out of it, but now he couldn't help but find it cute. His Basti, so cute, completely unaware of the rest of the world.

Lukas ran his fingers through Basti's hair, thinking about how amazing it would be if his hair was longer, so he could grab it for real. (Longer like when they were young, or at least like in the matches between Arsenal and Bayern).

He thought about asking Basti later about letting it grow a little more.

It brought him a moment of happiness thinking about the moments they could spend together, of what they could do -- only to remember that soon they would lead different paths. 

But he didn't let it bring him down.

When the time comes he'll worry about it. Until then he would only think about the silver hair on Basti's head. Basti is too young to have so much grey in his hair. Is it stress?

He didn't think too long, because sleepy eyes were looking at him.

"Luki??..."

"You're awake?"

"No," Basti answered, closing his eyes again.

"Aaah, come on, I wanna see your pretty eyes again!"

"Lukas," Basti said, opening one of his eyes.

"Yes?"

"Go bother someone else, and stop poking me."

"I wasn't poking you, I was petting you. Do you want me  to show you the difference?"

His only answer was a grunt and Basti turning his back to him. Lukas didn't insist. Instead he gave Basti a little kiss on his cheek, that ended up on his ear, and got up, ready to go downstairs.

Lukas was so lost in his own mind that he didn't notice when he finally reached his destination.

He kept reviving last night. How he and Basti fucked -- no, it wasn't just fucking; they made love. He loves Basti. He feels an attraction to the other man. He's known that for years already and he believes that Basti feels the same; but despite that, they never vocalize it.

For a brief moment Lukas fantasizes about the possibility of meeting a younger version of himself -- the part that always has that stupid smile on his face whenever he's hold Basti's hand -- and said to himself, "Go for it. Don't  deny it. Don't lie to yourself. Don't be afraid. You have to be courageous for the both of you. Basti is feeling the same as you are."

But it didn't matter. He couldn't travel back in time and warn himself. He couldn't change their choices, and even if he could he doubted that the outcome would be different.

It wasn't a matter of feelings or wishes.

It was the pressure, the others, and themselves.

They were young, yes.

They were naive, of course.

So naive and young that it was during that time that he heard the term 'Schweinski' for the first time; the first time he heard someone use their closeness to attack him; to upset him. And that wasn't the last time.

Over the time he noticed how other players targeted Basti on the field (and not only because he was one of the  major players for Bayern and Germany) only to brag about it to him later.

"Next time we'll get him good!"

"Won't you do something, prince?"

 

 Then it only got worse.

"So who's the bottom?"

"After I have a go with him, he wont remember you."

 

And then with Basti's increase of importance in the DFB, when the 'Choosen One' and the ' _FussballGott_ ' thing started to happen:

"Choosen One, huh?! Let's see for how long"

"Wait 'til I break him. I'll send you a video, Lukas, don't worry."

 

It was a sparse, but they were there.

In the beginning he didn't mind, but then it started to be too much, to a point where he told the media that Schweinski never existed; that it was just the imagination of the public -- and he slowly started to isolate himself from Basti.

He left Basti to find Monika and soon, with Louis, he found where to send all that love he was holding inside himself.

 So in the end he didn't believe that if he could he would change anything. Even if he found some hidden craziness that would encourage him, he knew that Basti wouldn't do it.

Since he'd met Basti, he knew that they fit together. He was the other side of the young Bavarian.

They were indestructible together. They were the energy, the innovation, and Lukas remembered quite well how Basti's eyes looked at him full of something that he couldn't really understand or describe. But sometimes he could swear that Basti was asking him to free the two of them.

And it was because of Bastian that he liked his time at Bayern -- because there he was, close to him, but there was also where he fell from his altar.

 There, in Bayern, was the first time he saw beyond the jokes, the smiles, the kisses, and the happiness.

He saw how Basti was being held down, how much weight is being put on him. Why did they do it? Why to him? And what left Lukas even more angry was that Basti knew and still found it okay.

Maybe it was one of the reasons why he had so many grey hairs on his head.

But it didn't matter. It took them 10 years, many hardships, many good and bad experiences, and the support of fellows players -- some that had seen how they'd fought it over the years -- for them to finally give a shit about the world and enjoy and share their true feelings and desires.

It was nice...

It was freedom...

And what scared Lukas the most wasn't the consequences or the inevitable end of their fairytale. It was the fact that if the team didn't support them -- if Thomas wasn't so playful, if Manu wasn't so calm, if Miro wasn't so understandable, if Philipp hadn't pushed him forward -- they probably would have stayed the rest of their lives in denial. That chance would come and go and neither of them would have done anything.

And for that he was glad.

For that, 2014 was special. 2014 is a year that he would never forget.

The happiest day of his life, after Louis was born, was the day he woke up with Basti sleeping by his side after giving himself to him.

Lukas couldn't hold the smile that was being formed on his face.

"Hello! Look who's up. Did you sleep well, Poldi?"

"Yeah, I did."

"I KNEW IT! This 'I got laid' smile, I recognize it. So tell me everything; every sordid detail."

"What?!"

"Leave him alone, Thomas."

 "Come on, Manu! You're curious too."

 "It's private. If he doesn't want to share he won't."

 "Hey hey ... I'm right here guys! And nothing happened."

 Both Manuel and Thomas looked at him with doubtful expressions.

 "Nothing happened? So tell me where Bastian is?"

 "Don't know. Probably sleeping."

 "You really don't know, Lukas? Wow man, last night must have been wild if Basti's still sleeping."

 "That's enough, Thomas. It isn't funny anymore."

 Lukas was glad that Manuel was mature enough to notice that he wasn't liking it. He doesn't blame Thomas. He knows that the younger man isn't doing it with ill intentions, but there are times when you just don't want to talk.

 Thomas, feeling Manu's angry gaze turns his eyes to Lukas.

 "Errmh...Sorry? I just got happy for you. I didn't mean to offend you. You aren't mad at me, are you?"

 "Don't worry, Thomas. I'm not mad."

 "Well...I think I should go. Meet the others... so hun...bye!"

 And Thomas quickly left them alone. After a few moments of silence where Lukas was getting food, Manu decided to talk.

 "You know, Thomas may have been a little direct about the subject, but if I were you I wouldn't find it strange if you receive a stare or two."

 "Is it that obvious?

 "Not to the newbies, but for us...well...all I can say is that most of us go to our rooms together, and most of us saw you stop in front of Basti's door. And some, like me, have a room right beside yours and you never came back."

 "Oh."

 "But don't worry, we're okay with it. And even if someone wasn't, they won't bother you two -- or they'll have to answer to Jogi."

 "Jogi knows too?!"

 Manu didn't get to answer because soon Christoph came in, all smiles and hugs, carrying some strange looking bread.

 "Manu, _mein Feuer_ , have you tried these delicious things?"

 "No..."

 "You're missing out. It's sweet, but also a little salty. I even put Nutella on it, you should try it. I can stop eating it. Ah, Lukas you're here too! Want some?" Christoph said, offering Lukas some.

 "Don't you think you're eating too much?"

 "We won't have to train or play for the next two or three weeks. I can eat as much as I want."

 Lukas liked Christoph's enthusiasm, accepting his offer and eating the bread.

 "You said you got Nutella?"

 "Oooh, I have."

 Lukas took a bite and had to stir Manu's hungry gaze.

 "For all that is sacred, Manu, you have to try it. It's divine!"

 Manuel was looking suspiciously at both at them, reluctantly accepting the bread to which Lukas almost immediately put a generous amount of Nutella on.

 "Go, go, go. Try it."

 

Lukas got to see Manu lose his focus, so he pulled a conversation with Christoph.

 "Hey. How are you feeling?"

 "I'm fine."

 "You gave us quite a scare back there."

 "Well I don't remember most of it. My only regret is that I didn't get to see the end of the game and that I couldn't drink during the after party."

 "It's a shame."

 "True..."

 "But you're still young. Many World Cups will come."

 

Christoph didn't have a retort. He just looked at the ground, looking a little flustered.

 "I don't know how to say it. We'll probably play the Euro together, but I can't be sure you and the other veterans will be here in 2018...so..."

 "Don't talk like that, it sounds like we're going to die."

 "Noo...it wasn't that...it's...just...I watched you, Basti, Philipp, Per, all of you playing when I was a kid."

 "Oh..."

 "You guys were different, are closer to us, the public, and it includes me. As a kid I remember seeing Philipp slowly starting to command the team; how big Per was..."

 "And now you're almost as big as him."

 "... And I remember you and Basti. I remember seeing you two play. It was clear how you two love--"

 And Lukas froze, his eyes wide open, his heart practically in his mouth.

 "--to play; to be together; to fight for the win. It was inspiring. So...Thank you!"

 And that was -- amazing? And fucking terrifying! It wasn't the first time someone had said something like that to him, but it was the first time that someone within the squad had told him that.

 "It's me who should thank you. And we still have the Euro, and don't cut me out of 2018 so soon."

 

Christoph smiled and put a huge piece of bread on his mouth, at the same time Per and Thomas arriving.

 "So there you are. You're hiding here eating everything."

 Christoph only grunted in response.

 "What are you guys talking about, hm? Did you eat all that bread?! How you stay fit, Chris, is beyond me."

 There is nothing more like Thomas than fitting three different matters in one sentence and asking it all at once.

 Lukas smiled, puting an arm around Christoph and answered.

 "We're having a heart to heart, Thomas."

 "Oh. I'm already seeing Basti getting jealous!" Thomas said ,smiling, only for Per to give him a tap on the side of his head.

 "Ouch, I'm joking," Thomas said raising his hands in the air, still complaining as he turns to Christoph.

 "Tell me where I find more of this bread of yours. I'm in need of some sweets after so many blows from my 'friends'."

 "Ah, Thomas don't be a drama queen."

 Per said while Christoph gave Thomas some half-eaten bread -- to which Thomas grabbed and brought close to his chest.

 "See, guys, this is camaraderie."

 "We love you, Thomas, and you know it!"

 Lukas hadn't even finished saying it when Jogi finally showed up.

 "What is all this commotion about?"

 "It's Thomas," Christoph said with his mouth full. Thomas looked wide eyed at him.

 "You traitor! I thought we had something going on."

 Thomas quickly turned to Jogi and continued to talk.

 "See...I'm being bullied by them."

 Jogi looked unimpressed, turning to look at all of them, going straight to the point as always.

 "I'm only here to tell you guys that soon your wives, sons and girlfriends will arrive, and that the flight got delayed, so you've all got some extra hours with them before the long day of travel and commemorations. So enjoy. You guys deserve it."

 

_Louis and Monika are coming._

 Lukas had mixed feelings about it. He was sad because he thought he would have more time to spend with Basti, but he was also happy because he hadn't really had time to talk to Louis; to listen to him.

 And he was so immersed on this that he didn't notice Christoph getting away from his hold. (Neither listening to Thomas and Per bicker at each other). It was Jogi that brought him back to reality.

 "Lukas? Have you eaten your breakfast?"

_Had he?_

 Since he'd gone downstairs so many things had happened that he hadn't really paid attention to whether he'd eaten or not.

 "More or less."

 "Good. Can you wake Basti, please? I believe you know where his room is."

 

Jogi said that with a hand on his shoulder, and just like Lukas hadn't felt any aggression or provocation from Thomas, he felt nothing from Jogi. If their coach knew or suspected anything, it appeared that it wasn't bothering him. He was just asking him as a friend to go up and call another friend.

Lukas was relieved about it, but some small part of him wanted Jogi to have some reaction.

But if Jogi didn't have a reaction, others did. Just like Manu said, most of them hadn't noticed anything. The ones who did either didn't care or were happy -- but there were still two or three that looked at him with judging eyes.

As if he'd done something wrong; like _he_ was wrong. The kind of look he received when he was young, when the players from other countries provoked him. Like his behavior was something shameful.

 

And maybe -- just maybe -- they were right.

 

But not about what he did the night before. What was shameful was what he did four or five years ago: when that same kind of stare become one of the reasons he walked away from Basti, leaving him alone when he knew that Basti was going through the same.

But today he didn't have anything to be ashamed of. It was his decision and he'd never do anything that he didn't want to.

So he simply ignored the looks. They're the minority. He grabbed some food for Basti, and even stopped close to Manu to ask for some of that mini sandwich of Nutella that he appeared to be making -- more like Nutella with bread than bread with Nutella -- and went to Basti's room.

 

He didn't even bother knocking on the door. He simply went in and found Basti already awake.

 "The sleeping beauty finally decided to wake up?!"

 Basti smiled at him, but soon his eyes left his face and rested on the plate of food.

 "You really brought me breakfast in bed!"

 Lukas had completely forgotten about it. He'd said something about bringing breakfast? Thank God he had. He kept smiling, sitting on the bed next to Basti, placing the plate between them.

 "Of course I did. Anything for you _mein Hase_."

 Basti blushed but his smirk and knowing eyes showed Lukas that he wasn't fooling anyone.

 "You're lying. You totally forgot about the breakfast."

 "Yeah...you got me. It was pure luck that I brought something."

 "Well it doesn't matter. You're here now, and with food which is even better," Basti said while deciding what to eat.

 "You didn't bring anything to drink?"

 "Haaaah...no."

 Basti shrugged his shoulders and grabbed one of the Nutella bread, squeezing while seeing all the Nutella ooze out the sides.

 "What the hell is this?"

 "Manu's special bread."

 Basti smiled while trying to eat it without making a mess of himself.

Lukas found it incredibly entertaining to watch Basti fight against the uncontrollable bread but failing, leaving the corner of his mouth with a little amount of Nutella.

Lukas  instinctively got closee, cleaning Basti's face and bringing his thumb with the Nutella close to Basti's mouth.

Basti's hesitation left him a little tense, but soon Basti opened his mouth sucking Lukas finger. All of this while looking at him without blinking.

Lukas used that moment to hold Basti's face -- thumb in his mouth while his other fingers held Basti's chin.

And they just stayed that way, Lukas playing with Basti's mouth and Basti playing with Lukas' fingers. Lukas felt excited and a little weird about the situation so he coughed slightly, removing his thumb but keeping his hold on the chin.

 "Eeerm...Are you ok?"

 Basti looked away, but answered.

 "Yeah. A little sore, but I'm fine."

 "So...huuum...I wanted to tell you..."

 "Try this! It's amazing!"

 Basti didn't let him finish, shoving one of Manu's breads in his mouth. He let go of Basti's chin to deal with the Nutella-saturated bread.

Basti's nonsensical change of topic and the amount of bread in his mouth was enough to make him stop to think about why Basti had done it in the first place.

They were okay, weren't' they?

What was he going to say anyway?

Had they screwed up their friendship?

Lukas soon found his answer coming from Basti himself.

 "I'm sorry. I got nervous. Next time I won't shove something on you because of it."

 "Nervous?"

 "About what I did."

 "You did nothing wrong. Or did you?"

 Basti still avoided looking at him, but didn't say anything. Lukas thought about forcing the subject, but maybe it was better to let it be.

He took a deep breath, catching a cookie from the plate and bringing it to Basti. He repeated the process, until he was practically feeding him.

 "Sarah will be here soon."

 "How do you know that? She didn't tell me anything."

 "Jogi told me. All the WAGs will come. A second goodbye before we leave for the German festivities."

 "Oh."

 "I wanted to spend more time with you. So we could talk about what happened."

 "Why talk about it?"

 "Well...to see if everything is alright. I don't know if you're are alright with it."

 "Of course it's alright. Lukas. If something were bothering me I would tell you. It's okay. It's good. In fact it was intense and ... awesome," Basti said smiling.

 

And that was what Lukas wanted to hear. Not just that, though. He wanted to hear Basti to say, 'let's do it again', but hearing him say it was 'awesome' was good enough.

 "I'm flattered."

 "Don't be. I did most of the work."

 "Hey! If I remember it well, it was my fingers that drove you crazy and it was junior here that left you trembling!"

 He simply could not hold a cocky smile, and Basti's wide eyes and red cheeks only helped it.

 "And...and...if it wasn't for me, you would have done nothing, being so awkward about everything."

 "Says the one who hid his parts with his hands."

 "It was unexpected, okay. I'd never done that before. And what about you? You barely touched me!"

 "I touched you!"

 "But not down there!"

 "You didn't touch me either. What are you complaining for?"

 

And okay, maybe he  exaggerated a little. Maybe he was being a little selfish, but he was trying to defend himself. But whatever it was, Basti didn't like. He got up and he looked angry.

 

"I didn't touched you!? I let you fuck me, for God's sake! You, for a brief moment, literary were a pain in my ass. it's uncomfortable to sit down and I'm all sore ... AND I DIDN'T _TOUCH_ YOU?!"

 "Please lower your voice! Someone might hear you."

 Basti lowered his voice but still looked angry at him.

 "That's unfair of you..."

 "It's you who started it, Basti."

 "I was just being sincere. And you know it's true. You weren't really comfortable with it all."

 "And neither were you."

 "And that's why...aah forget it."

 "No no no...you won't stop this conversation until we get to a conclusion."

 "There's nothing to conclude."

 "Of course there is. I care about you, okay. I need to know that everything is okay between us. We were fine a minute ago, and just one wrong word and look at us now!"

 

Basti gave him a long sigh and calmly started to talk.

 "We _are_ fine, Lukas. We never stopped being fine. We didn't need to say it out loud. But since you got here, instead of talking about normal things like we usually do you keep bringing it back up; you keep asking me the same thing over and over."

 Lukas stayed silent. Basti appeared to be calm and he even sat down on the bed -- though not without hissing a little.

 "Like I told you the first time you asked, I'm fine. We are fine, and if we weren't I would have said so. The only one in doubt here is you."

 "But what about what happened just now?"

 "Well I'm in the right to be upset when you say that I didn't touch you when I let you do more than just that."

 "Putting it in that way, well, maybe I was a..."

 "...An asshole?"

 "I would have said insensitive."

 Basti looked at him with that sassy face, and gave him a small smile.

 "So we're okay and it's over. If you ask me again I will kick you out."

 Lukas raised his hands, and without making a sound said 'I'm sorry'. They stay in silence for a moment, practically eating and listening to the outside sounds, until a knocking on the door interrupts their peaceful moment.

 

Phillip entered the room right after.

 "Hey, you two, the girls have arrived."

 

Lukas didn't say anything. He simple got up, quickly straightening his clothes and brushing away any bran food that had fallen on it, and started to walk toward the door. Something made him stop though. He had to say something to Basti. (Anything. He couldn't just leave). And without looking, without wanting to see Philipp's eyes, calculating the situations and possibilities, he said:

 "I would have liked to stay with you a little longer, but...it's Louis."

 "Go Lukas. I would be mad with you if you spent even a second away from Louis because of me."

 

And he had to turn and look at Basti, smiling at him with that same smile full of love and admiration that he always liked to see directed at him, and with his 'heart eyes' (like Thomas joked about sometimes), fixed only on him.

 That's what he loved about Basti. No matter what they argued about, Basti could put it past him when it really mattered. So he smiled his biggest smile of the day, sent Basti a wink and a kiss, and while turning to leave the room he spared a glance at Philipp's knowing eyes.

 He closed the door, aware that Basti was in good company, and that soon Sarah would be there too.

Like when he woke up, he wanted to feel guilty; he wanted to feel happy -- but all he felt was  blessed.

Behind that door he was leaving one of the most important people in his life, but it was to meet the most important person in this world to him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basti's side...  
> Enjoy.

 

He didn't dream, he simply slept; a total and complete nothingness that had embraced him -- and he loved it.

Or he had been until a hand on his hair brought him back to reality.

 

_Poldi..._

 

He wasn't mad, but come on, he just wanted some an extra few minutes of sleep, so as quickly as he could he sent Lukas away.

He sleep for an hour maybe. It didn't really matter. He knew he had slept enough when he started to feel a little numb.

He stretched, but decided to stay on the bed, looking at the ceiling.

What had he done?

What he wanted, that was for sure.

But it was also stupid.

He's Bastian Schweinsteiger. He can't go and do things that can have bad repercussions. If he was still young, in the beginning of his career, maybe they would forgive him, but soon he'll be thirty. Immaturity isn't an excuse. It never was.

 

But now that he's older, sometimes he thinks it's only gotten worse.

If a player pisses on the field, it's okay; he's a football player.

If a player gets wasted at a party, c'mon, let the guy live a little.

But him ... he can't do those things. If he does he'll have to answer to everyone.

That certainty didn't let him relax. He couldn't help but imagine what the repercussions would be if someone from the outside discovered what had happened between him and Lukas.

It would be devastating.

To himself; to Lukas; to Lukas' family.

After all, 'We aren't saying you have to do what we told you to -- we don't want a robot. Your fighting spirit is what everyone loves, but outside the field you need to control yourself. Remember that you represent more than just yourself.'

Suave, direct and cruel.

And that was his professional life...

 

He remembers the first time he listened to that, and his first action was to rebel. He partied; he raced; he dyed his hair with crazy colors. And soon everyone was telling him what to do: the media; the team; the German NT. He felt suffocated.

But that's when he met Lukas. He found someone to joke with; to prank; to annoy; to be himself around. 

The others could go to Hell.

 

With Lukas he felt free. He could hold him and Lukas would hold him back. He saw how Klinsmann and some other guys looked annoyed at him and he looked back at Lukas and found a strength he always thought he lacked and they held hands in front of everyone. He would kiss Lukas' neck or cheek without being afraid, and if someone came to tell them anything, he had the will to smile, joke and keep doing it.

When he met Lukas he promised himself that he wouldn't change -- everyone else would have to learn to deal with it.

And it couldn't be better for him.

Of course there are ups and downs, but he as a person was happy.

It didn't mean that he didn't receive backlash for his behavior. Of course he did. He's capable of reading, seeing and feeling.

But he chose how to approach the situation.

 

He could read the bad and ill things written about him, but he focused on the good and constructive ones.

He could see how his bromance with Lukas caused doubts and sometimes even disgusting comments, but he chose to ignore the stares and only see the ones from his teammates -- from the public in love with them; from the media happy with a story to sell.

But he also felt that Lukas didn't have the same composure as him, and step by step he saw how his friend was changing.

Not for worse, but he wasn't the same.

 

Lukas started to perform poorly. The coach didn't help him either and kept him on the bench as long as he could. Lukas' smile wasn't reaching his ears anymore.

Several times he tried to cheer him -- to see a true smile on his face. It wasn't that he was unhappy, he just wasn't Lukas kind of happy.

Lukas was drifting away. And what left Basti even more overwhelmed was that he was trying to bring Lukas back, but he didn't seem to want to  _be_  back.

 

Not long after, Lukas told him he was going to be a father.

 

He smiled, hugged him, praised him -- only to find a piece of himself break when finally alone, and he felt terrible about it. This is Lukas; he should be happy for his friend's happiness. True happiness that he didn't see on the field anymore (not even with him close by).

So he did what he could. He was the best friend anyone could ask for, despite them not being so close anymore.

 

He thought he'd lost Lukas for a moment  -- a Summer fairytale, like some had said.

And then he got the proof that it wasn't a fairytale. It was real, and the evidence came in the worst way possible.

 

Bastian had noticed that he'd become a common target in any match, but there was a particular one, when a player had tackled him to the ground and falling over him (normal contact by the referee's standards), holding him there a little longer than necessary. He was about to complain when he noticed the guy being lifted away from him. He looked up and saw Lukas, who wasn't looking at him, but his eyes showed intentions of beating the crap of the other player.

And then it came, that unfortunate phrase.

 

"Get away from him."

 

"Wow, man, did you see the referee? It's normal contact."

 

"It's wasn't!"

 

"Relax, man. I'm not going to steal your lover boy here."

 

Basti of course was upset about the move, the insinuation, but he had to act. Philipp wasn't close, and Lukas looked like he was about to make a scene. So he got up and stopped him -- stopped Lukas; his teammate; his friend, who was only defending him and told him to calm down and focus on the game.

The look on Lukas' face was one of those that haunt you forever. He could see that Lukas hadn't expected him to not take his side. That same look only lost in impact, to when during a meeting, he listened without complaining to the manager, and in the end agreed that he was wrong and that it wouldn't happen again.

Until that moment he'd never seen Lukas angry with him.

 

"What the fuck!?  _You're_  the wrong one? You're the victim. That guy should at least receive a yellow, and you agreed with this bullshit?!"

 

"It wouldn't have changed anything if I disagreed. His word is final. I simply chose to spare my energy."

 

"So that's how it is now? They tell you to roll over and you do it?"

 

"Listen here, Podolski, it's not about obedience -- it's being smart. We have one EuroCup and one World Cup under our belts, we're professionals. We have to act like we are."

 

"You've changed. You're talking as if this is a job. This is football. We should be having fun..."

 

"This IS A JOB! Our job is to play football and win. We just have the advantage of having fun while doing it."

 

"You weren't like this."

 

"I've grown up, Lukas. Fighting on the field to get kicked off isn't good for the team; fighting with the coach and being put on the bench isn't good for the team; fighting with the damn manager is even worse!"

 

"All I heard was 'team', 'team', and 'team'. Where are you? Where is Bastian? Where are  _we_? You shouldn't be here defending them. You should be with me fighting against the world!"

 

"This team raised me, gave me everything. When I put this jersey on I defend them; I fight for them. But don't think I forgot about you. I'm doing what's best for you, even if you don't see it. I'm your friend. You're dear to me, so if I need to be an idiot to make you see, I will be. You're immature. You need to grow up if you want do to more than just keep the bench hot."

 

He remembered how Lukas didn't answer him, how he turned and walked away, and even today that memory scares the Hell out of him. In that exact moment Lukas could have left his life forever. 

 

And that was what he felt back then, when some time later Lukas left Bayern for Koln. The distance was good for them, but he couldn't help but feel that something wasn't the same.

The strange thing was that Lukas kind of took his advice when he left.

Unfortunately they both knew that Lukas would never be more than what he already was in Bayern. If he wanted to be better and bigger he needed to restart.

He watched some Koln games. He saw how Lukas was happy again. He was in Cologne; close to home; to family; close to what he loves most -- and away from him.

For more that he wanted, he couldn't follow Lukas. It didn't make sense to. They might not have every day of the week to talk and be close, but they still had the Bundesliga and the German NT.

 

Lukas had a new team, a new life (one that, apart from the football and the national team, they had nothing in common with, and he refused to think that he regretted some of his actions, which he believed had lead to this).

They still met, still talked, but even in the World Cup the feeling wasn't the same. Even less after getting third place...again.

Even in the Euro, when Lukas lost the penalty, he tried to approach him. They were close, but not as close like they were in 2006 or 2008.

But if he was sad about it, about the distance, it got even worse when Lukas transferred to Arsenal. Now they had an ocean between them.

 

But the things got better to his own surprise. When Lukas came to Germany he always visited him. They talked on the phone almost every day. They Skype'd  almost every weekend. (It was better than never).

Naturally everything was fixed.

He didn't know how. He didn't need to or wanted to.

 

That was what kept bothering Bastian. Even now, 10 years later, laying on the bed, after so many moments and memories and achievements, his mind, his memories, their history together, shows him that they're better apart -- that no matter how good it is now, eventually something will happen and they'll drift apart again.

Could they survive it again?

Everything is so great -- so good and perfect, and he doesn't want it to end -- but the closer they get, the faster things around them start to crumble until one of them has to give up.

Why try? Why enjoy something that's fated to end?

It's an unnecessary risk.

But looking at where he is, what he achieved alone and with the team, doesn't he deserve a chance?

A shot in the dark with hope that it would hit the target?

Like Lukas told him once, he is his Hase. Together they're unbeatable; stronger; the face of the future (now a past that proved to be successful). They shouldn't do what everyone expects them to. HE shouldn't lay down and roll over.

 

What could they possible do against them?

He's practically thirty years old.

He should enjoy the moment that will hardly repeat, savor it. 

 

Feeling so, he got up and started to looking for something to wear.

Bastian grabbed the clothes he wanted and when he sat on the bed he noticed the hand marks on his thighs and hips.

Hand marks and hickeys.

 

_‘WTF! Dammit, Lukas’_

 

How would he explain this to Sarah?

He could explain the the soreness and difficulty sitting as match fatigue. (It was partly true anyway), But falling on the ground doesn't leave hickeys. He was still hurting all over and most of it didn't have anything to do with Lukas.

He could only hope that she wouldn't get to see him naked. It was his best chance of not having to improvise.

He put his clothes on and kept repeating in his head not to think about it.

 

He had almost convinced himself when Lukas entered the room without knocking. 

He was going to say something, but he just smiled at Lukas, and then his heart melted looking at the plate full of food balanced in his hands and he forgot about everything he'd been thinking about. Lukas remembered the breakfast in bed comment. He'd really meant it. Bastian felt like a fool for thinking that Lukas was only joking. 

It was lovely.

 

Of course it didn't take much time for him to notice that Lukas wasn't doing it because of the comment the night before. It was just a coincidence. But he had to ask just to be sure. Sadly he was right, but even so, how could he really be disappointed? They’re friends. What he was expecting – a love declaration? Lukas was kind enough to bring him food, so he just enjoyed it.

 

He was confused though. He didn't know if Lukas was being nice because he's always that way to him or if it was because of what happened. 

He didn't ask. He didn't want to know, but when Lukas touched his face, holding his chin, his thumb on his lip, he froze. He wasn't imaging these things? He wasn't mistaking the signs? There’s no way this is normal -- even for them.

And to make things even worse he sucked Lukas' thumb, and to his surprise Lukas went along.

He found it strange but it didn't stop either of them.

 

When they pulled apart he was scared for his actions. What the Hell had he just done?

His surprise, however, didn't last long. Lukas was there to break the tension, but then he didn't care about who started it, who was wrong, only Lukas' arrogant comment about how him losing it last night was enough upset him more than he imagined. And then to make it worse he'd said that he hadn't touched him. He'd really had to get away from Lukas, because when he heard that his desire to punch him was immeasurable. 

 

After what he'd done; what he'd let Lukas do. He liked it, but that wasn't the point. Maybe it was or maybe it wasn't. It's all confusing.

 

But if Lukas has power, it is the power to make him rethink the situation, calm down, take a breath and do the right thing. And so he did, but not without making it clear that Lukas should stop right there -- no more comments.

 

Bastian was glad that they were in silence. Normally he would prefer to talk, but they needed a moment to keep their thoughts to themselves. (At least he thought so, because looking at Lukas' face he could see that the man was fighting with his own tongue, and he wasn't in a dissimilar situation, so he kept putting food in his mouth. He didn't even care about the taste. His mind, his whole body was in another place.)

What they'd done... He really wanted to it again, but not in that way. He'd had too many drinks, and he… he… 

But then when and where would they do it anyway. It was one-chance only -- a situation that presents itself -- and he couldn't even blame Lukas. He was the one that started it. He'd kissed him for real at the party. He let the door open, and when Lukas froze and didn't know what to do, he kept them going. Even his macho pride couldn't blame Lukas. He was the one who chose to be the bottom, and he liked. (Damn it)

 

If there is a God though, he's probably the one who sent Philipp.

Or maybe not, because if he heard it right Philipp said that Sarah, Monika and Louis were coming. 

 

And the world could call him a terrible and egotistical person, but he didn't want them here -- not now, not when he can have Lukas all to himself, even if for just some minutes.

And what was more sad was seeing Lukas getting up and ready, leaving without saying a word. 

He knows he's the second choice; the second love; second most important thing.

 

This is his life: Bastian Schweinsteiger, the second most important ‘thing’ in Lukas Podolski's life. 

And he's in that position partly because of himself. They were close to a point where they could be anything, but he saw them drift apart and did nothing to stop it. They'd almost gotten intimate, but when Lukas didn't take a step, forward he didn't either, and he kind of felt angry with himself, and with the one that took Lukas' attention, love and devotion away.

The one that stole Lukas' heart. Louis.

 

The truth is, Basti could deal with Monika, because if it was only her, that night could mean something; could change something. With Monika he stood a chance. 

But not with Louis. 

 

He had no doubt that Lukas would do anything to be happy, to be free, to follow his heart and desire, as long as it didn't affect Louis in a negative way.

And because of that he knew that there would never be a 'them'.

But he appreciated Lukas' effort to stop and try to explain, and what more could he say besides ‘Go’.

Of course Lukas had gone, and in Lukas' place he would do the same.

 

"He'll come back. And you two still have two or three days to yourselves."

 

"I know."

 

"I know it not my place to ask, but after all these years I’m curious … did you two finally get the courage?"

 

"For better or for worse…yes…Phil."

 

"You don’t look happy though. Should I worry? Should  _he_  worry?"

 

No he shouldn't, nobody should. No matter what happened outside the field he always left it behind during a match. The football, the team, the fans didn't have anything to worry about.

 

As for his happiness? 

He was more than happy. He'd achieved more than many before him. He is fulfilling what he conditioned himself to believe that he was born to do.

Yes, some people would call him arrogant if they could hear his thoughts, but how can a man not be when he himself and part of the world calls him FussballGott; when he puts on his shoes as ‘The Chosen One’ . 

They called him that, and he decided to live up to the expectations.

So if Philipp, his captain, is using his ‘captain’ voice to ask him about it, he can't help but smile and answer him with the tone of one that some call the midfield general.

"I’m more than happy. I’m a world champion! But I’m far from satisfied. I won't be until I hold the EuroCup trophy in my hands."

 

"Hungry, aren't you?"

 

"And aren't we all? If we weren't we wouldn't be where we are."

 

"I’m afraid I’m satisfied."

 

Bastian found Philipp's comment strange, but didn’t ask further, (and even if he had he probably wouldn't have gotten his answer, because Sarah had arrived in the room. (It was starting to get crowded in there.)

Sarah came, Philipp went, and he did what he always did: shared his victory with her, kissed her, held her, told her everything about the game knowing that she'd saw it. And she listened, smiled, and cheered with him. 

And that’s why they'd been together for 7 years.

 

She didn’t ask; she didn't press him when he didn’t want it. She gave him space, but if he needed her he only needed to look at his side, and she would be there. While Lukas... well he's in another land.

In the end he even got her to eat Manu’s bread, and got a lecture about how many calories he was eating and that he will have to kill himself training to lose it all. 

He laughed and took off her bread, chewing slowly in front of her, swallowing and finishing with a beautiful “It’s delicious.”

 

They’re fine. Happy. He even managed to get the trophy to show it to her, and took a picture to record the moment. 

They’re admiring the sun when a small hand pulling his shirt catches his attention.

And there in front of him was Louis. Beautiful Louis. He couldn't help but smile and get down to talk to Lukas' son.

 

"Hi there, little man. Where’s your mom and dad?"

 

"They’re having another serious talk, I found it boring so I asked Per where you were, and he told me. So... here I am."

 

"Well, since you’re here why don’t come with Uncle Basti and play some basketball?"

 

He really loves the kid's enthusiasm. To him it was good to see it. He always found Louis extremely calm and mature for a kid his age ( too calm to be anything Lukas-related). He smiles at Sarah who kindly smiles back and silently tells him to go, that it’s okay.

He offers his hand and when Louis promptly grasps it, he feels a tightness in his chest. Whatever Lukas and Monika are discussing, he shouldn't -- he couldn't -- be the reason for it. He couldn't do it to Louis.

 

"Are you okay? What are you thinking about, Uncle Basti?"

 

"I’m fine … I’m thinking about how I’m gonna kick your butt."

 

"Who says that you will?"

 

"It’s obvious that I will; I’m bigger."

 

"And I’m faster."

 

Bastian put a hand on his chest with mock offense.

 

"Ouch! That hurts."

 

"It does not. I didn’t hit you."

 

"No, you haven’t." And Basti let go of Louis' hand, giving him a light shove. "But I did!" And he started to run.

 

"I WANT TO SEE YOU CATCH ME, MISTER-I’M-FASTER!"

 

He started to run slowly, being followed by the laughter of his little but yet greatest adversary, one that he himself could not help but love too.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the gif that told about in this chapter.  
> https://38.media.tumblr.com/caacd5f32419aa3f88d98edae95819b4/tumblr_na77e81TEE1qdb34jo1_400.gif

 

In a far corner ironically similar to the one that he and Basti talked to each other in that fated night, Lukas found himself listening to Monika's complaints.

 

"I understand you guys are friends. I get it. I accepted the closeness, the weirdness that you two sometimes caused. But it's gone too far."

 

"I don't get why you're upset. We didn't do anything we haven't done before," Lukas told her with a conviction that took even him by surprise. He thought that he would feel guiltier, or that he wouldn't be able to lie, hide or divert her from the truth, but it was surprisingly easy.

 

"How don't you see it? All I see is you two, all the time -- on the TV, internet, in magazines..."

 

"And like I said before, it isn't anything new!"

 

"You know what's worse? You don't get what's wrong!"

 

"So tell me, because I don't see a reason for us to be discussing this instead of celebrating with the others!"

 

"The problem, Lukas, is that you're the one encouraging this. Everything I read and saw, I found out that it was you who shared it. You even put a photo of you two kissing on your Facebook!"

 

Lukas could only sit in silence. What could he say? It was true, but he didn't think it would cause any problems with anybody, much less Monika.

 

"You two hugging, smiling, joking, sleeping, almost kissing! Do you have any idea how long it's been since you showed that kind of happiness in a picture of  _us_?"

 

"...Christmas?"

 

"No, Lukas, no. I don't even remember the last time I saw you look at me like that."

 

"Monika, I love you! You know that, what the Hell are you talking about?"

 

"I'm talking about us. About our son that keeps hearing about this Schweinski thing all the time, who can't come close to a newsstand because he finds articles about you two -- not to mention the school colleagues; the whispers; the talks; the jokes about his dad and his 'inseparable friend'."

 

It wasn't that Lukas had never thought about it or never knew about it, he simply didn't care. And Louis, he didn't seem to mind. In fact he always asked about Basti, (sometimes even got in the middle of their Skype time). But if Monika is this exasperated, maybe Louis had told her something.

 

"Did Louis tell you something or someone is bothering him?"

 

"No. He doesn't need to; I can see it."

 

"If he didn't how can you tell that it's a problem? You have your friends too, and you don't see me complaining about them."

 

"You don't because I keep my hands to myself. I don't go kissing and groping them."

 

After that Lukas didn't even bother to listen to Monika anymore. In his opinion it's normal to have stupid disagreements, his only worry was Louis.

 

Is Louis troubled and isn't telling him? That couldn't be it. Louis admires Basti, but with children you never know.

 

He kept listening, agreeing with her and only defending himself when he thought she was being unfair, all of that while he kept trying to recall any signs -- even the smallest ones -- implicating that Louis may be upset, but the discussion soon ended when he tried to search for Louis, talk to him and signing with his hand that nothing happened.

He stopped looking at Monika and stopped trying to be nice. The hell with their problems. Where the fuck is Louis?

 

"Did you see Louis?"

 

He saw Monika stop and throw away her worries to look around.

 

"He was right beside you."

 

"I know. He isn't here anymore… Louis? LOUIS!"

 

Lukas' panic didn't last long as Per appeared.

 

"Hey, Lukas…LUKAS! He's fine. He's with Bastian."

 

"Where?"

 

"Upstairs."

 

Lukas didn't even thank Per or tell Monika about it. She probably heard it too. He simply went upstairs.

He wasn't mad at Louis, or Monika, or Basti (far from it), but Louis doesn't do this kind of thing, going off without telling anyone. Without telling him.

So when he found Louis his first thought was to give him the lecture of his life, but seeing his son so happy, smiling and laughing with Basti while they played basketball, made him change his mind.

 

The sight is something so beautiful that he didn't have words. Basti had a way with children -- or only with Louis -- but it didn't matter in the end. The image had his eyes watering. This is something he wants to see every day, because this is what he wants more than anything. What he wants, but he cannot have.

Beautiful yet sad.

And seeing it, he didn't understand Monika. Couldn't she see how Louis likes Basti, how they get along?

That almost made him forget that he was scared; scared that he didn't notice Louis leaving. He was mad at himself and not at his son.

The boy is smart after all. He went to one of the people he trusted most and whom he knew his dad trusted as well.

 

"Daddy!"

 

And Lukas hugged Louis.

 

"You gave me quite a scare. Why did you leave without warning me or your mom?"

 

"We’re with friends. What’s wrong with going to talk to them?"

 

"The point is you didn't tell me."

 

"You were busy, and I was with uncle Basti."

 

He couldn't help but smile at how Louis used ‘I was with uncle Basti’ like it was the magic phrase that solved all problems. And the worst is that he's probably right, because a shadow blocked the sun and he looked up to find Basti looking down at him with a worried face.

 

"He's okay, Lukas. He's with me. We’re playing, having fun…you could…play with us if you want. I think Louis would love it."

 

And he lost. With these two he didn't stand a chance. If they wanted they could control his life and he wouldn't even mind.

When Basti offered his hand, Lukas took it without a second thought. He didn't care, it was only them now (at least in his mind), and slowly they got in on their little basketball match. He was having so much fun that he didn't notice that Sarah and Monika were there.

He just kept playing, giving Louis the height advantage to win against Basti, and they were ruling him. Another try; another point.

 

"That’s unfair, I’m playing against two."

 

"Don’t be a sore loser, Basti. You’re playing against a man holding his son. Neither of us is giving 100%."

 

"Is that so? Because I bet the one who really makes the difference here is Louis."

 

He could hear his son laughing above his head while he could see Basti's devious smiling face.

 

"Louis can I borrow your dad for a moment to show him who is best here?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Ok…ok," Lukas says, putting Louis on the ground. "Go over there with your mom and cheer for me. Ready to lose, Basti?"

 

"Who says I’m gonna lose? Hey, Louis, who's gonna win?"

 

"UNCLE BASTI!"

 

Lukas stood there in shock.

 

"What?!"

 

And Basti snatched the ball from his hands and scored.

 

"3 to 0."

 

"Hey that's cheating!"

 

"No it’s not. You gotta pay attention, my man!"

 

"You want a fight, you'll get one. I'm gonna kick your ass."

 

It could sound aggressive -- could even be interpreted as a threat -- but it's them: Basti and Lukas, Lukas and Basti. And so it wasn't. They’re laughing almost immediately after Lukas finishes his quote, and soon they had an audience. And then more people started playing. 

In the end nobody remembered the score, but Lukas put on his head that he had won. It was fun, and a fantastic stress reliever.

Lukas felt so light afterward he felt like he was walking on clouds (like Basti had told him the night before).

And speaking of Basti he could hear him calling him back to take a picture.

 

Why not?

 

He took his cellphone out and looked for someone to take it for them. He thought about giving it to Thomas, who simply appeared there, but he knew how Thomas loved to joke about where he stored his phone and that he would never hold it, much less get it close to his face. Such a drama queen.

So he gave it to Monika. She didn’t smile, but she didn’t refuse either. In fact she only added:

 

"Another one?"

 

He didn’t bother giving an answer to that.

There was another picture taken of he and Basti, himself alone, Basti and some people from the hotel that played with them, another one with them and Louis, and a last one with him and Louis.

He couldn't stop smiling, keeping Basti close, his arm around the other man, and in a moment of distraction, he kissed Basti's neck. That was when he realized he'd screwed up.

He heard Monika's grunt and Louis' giggle, and slowly pulled away from Basti, looking at him and trying to explain without saying a word. Basti's sad but comprehensive eyes were enough for him. Basti understood and left him...again.

He didn’t talk to Basti after that. His friend left with Sarah after giving him a light smile, so he stayed the rest of the day with Louis and Monika, keeping in mind to not touch the phone and only pay attention to them. The world didn't matter, Basti should not matter. He had things to fix and this attitude appeared to be enough for things to work out.

He didn’t try to overthink the situation, and thankfully Thomas was making it difficult to stay serious anyway.

Louis and Monika stayed for another hour, leaving quietly. He gave Monika a light kiss and hugged Louis with all his might, and watched them go.

 

In his fantasies, that was when he would turn around and find Basti, beautiful, with the sun coming from behind him and the wind blowing his aroma to him. But life wasn't a fantasy, (neither a deodorant commercial), and when he turned around, instead, he found Thomas.

 

"Wow, you know how to hurt a man's pride."

 

"What?"

 

"You looked at me and your disappointed face was so big that I will forever use it as a reference."

 

"It's not you..."

 

"It's me, don't lie. I know you were expecting that huge fella with big cheeks, a big nose, a big..."

 

"Can you stop talking about Basti like that?"

 

"But instead you got the beautiful ME."

 

How can you not smile around Thomas? The young man really knows how to brighten the atmosphere -- or make it worse. It depends on the day. But he knew that Thomas' intentions were to make him happy, so why not accept it.

In the end he took more photos, shared some cool ones, and still hadn't spoken to Basti, even when they got on the plane.

It was only when they were miles above the ground and most of them were sleeping that he got the courage to get up and try to find him. He wanted to talk to him. About anything, He didn't care, as long as he could listen to Basti's voice -- but he was sleeping.

 

Frustrated, he went to the bathroom, trying to manipulate the reason he'd gotten up, and once there he grabbed his phone, scrolling through videos, stopping when he found the one that he recorded after their win.

Basti was smiling an enormous smile as he walked in his direction.

It was short and they hadn't shared a word, but that face, that look, had so many emotions that he could barely hold his own.

 

_Why are you doing this to me, Basti?_

_What did I do to be your friend? To be part of your life?_

 

It would be so much easier if Basti hadn't shared what he felt. So simple. But he had to feel the same. At least apparently he does.

 

He replayed the video over and over again. His feelings were mixed up. He loves Basti; he loves what they have and he wants more of that. But why? Why didn't Basti do it earlier in their lives? Why didn't he open the door to him when they were younger?

He was also angry at himself though, because deep down he knew that Basti  _had_ done that, and he simply hadn't done anything about it.

It takes two to screw up what they have, but it also takes two to have a happy ending.

Lukas was glad that somehow they didn't screw up, and that they got their happy ending -- except that they got it separately. 

 

He took a deep breath, shut down the video, pulled himself together and left the bathroom. While walking back to his seat he spared another look at Basti's sleeping form and kept walking.

Ironically that's how it always is.

They have -- what? Two? Three days at best -- away from their teams and families, and then like always he will hug Basti close, kiss his neck, look right into his eyes and walk away, never looking back, because he always fears that if he dare look he would regret leaving, and if he stayed he would regret staying and leaving what he already has.

Sometimes Lukas only wished things were easier.

 

But it isn't like that, and there's nothing he can do about it. The only thing he can do is sleep like most of them are doing.

 

It was good for him. He didn't spend hours and hours thinking about Basti and when he woke up they were practically in Germany. He awoke to the sounds of laughter coming from his colleagues sitting behind him. One of them he thought he knew pretty well -- Basti.

He chose to ignore it, and slowly formed his own group of people to joke with. He knew that it would attract Basti eventually, and it did. 

They were minutes away from landing when Sami leaves his seat for Basti to sit in, smiling at him, while he couldn't help but look at the medicinal look on Basti's face.

He didn't like that. Basti could be a tough guy but it didn't change the fact that Lukas feels a need to protect him (even knowing that he doesn't need to).

 

"Hi there! I wanted to talk to you, but when I came you were drooling... Do you have any idea how much time you had me waiting for you?"

 

"Uh...? No?"

 

"10 minutes, give or take. But it felt like an hour. I was bored."

 

"You didn't look bored laughing with everyone."

 

"Oh did a catch a jealous comment there?"

 

Lukas couldn't keep a straight face so close to Basti. It had been challenging since day one, and seeing him making that bitch face of his, he couldn't hold his laughter.

 

"In your dreams. In your dreams, Basti."

 

"What I wouldn't give to make my dreams come true."

 

"They haven't already?"

 

"Not all of them. But what about you? You still have unfulfilled dreams?"

 

Lukas stops smiling for a moment. Does he have dreams? Of course he does. Who doesn't? Are they all fulfilled? No, far from it. Could they be realized? Maybe -- but probably not.

 

"Yes. I think I've almost got all I want."

 

"Almost?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Can I know what's missing?"

 

"It's no big thing. It's not like it could become real anyway."

 

"You shouldn't give up your dreams. I still haven't given up mine, despite it being practically impossible."

 

"How do you do it?"

 

"I don't know. I try to see the good side. The impossibilities make it desirable, and because of that the little I manage to get turns out to be even more rewarding."

 

"You're right."

 

"When am I not?"

 

"I can make a list if you want, Basti."

 

"There's no need."

 

And with that Basti lay his head on Lukas' shoulder.

 

"You know we're about to land, don't you?"

 

"Luki...please, enjoy the moment."

 

"Hehehe, when don't I?"

 

"When you think too much. Leave the thinking to me."

 

And so Lukas did.

He had one thing on his mind: That they had two days, 24 hours. 

That's all he had, and he would make the most of it.


	10. Chapter 10

Finally...

His shoulders were hurting a little, but it was nothing compared to how excited he was to meet the people, and it was even better because he was surrounded by friends, teammates and Basti.

 

Basti's hand closed around his when they prepared to leave the plane. It was brief of course, because soon the other players took Basti away from him. Lukas saw in his eyes how Basti was only happy that the team wanted him to be the first to step on German soil, but his fingers showed hesitancy to leave him. This was special though, and he wanted Basti to be the first to step out too, so he opened his hand and let go.

 

That was the first time he lost Basti from view that day, but that wasn't the moment to overthink it, and while they prepared to get on the truck Lukas felt beyond happy. They arrived, but unlike other times, they arrived as heroes.

And he felt like one.

Bigger; powerful; greater than life itself.

They got on the truck and he saw the crowd gather to see them. 

The burst of pride that he felt was so big that he thought he would explode. He couldn't stop smiling to himself, to his teammates, to the public, and while his eyes took in the scene before him, he couldn't stop his smile from growing bigger when he found Basti.

And for a moment he just froze in time.

He'd lost Basti for a moment when they landed, and now that he'd found him again -- he was beautiful, again with the flag on his shoulders; like a cape. Never in his life had Lukas felt so horny looking at something so patriotic. He almost felt bad about it, but at the same time he didn't.

 

He didn't know what force made him move, but when he noticed he had the trophy in his hands, and was walking in Basti's direction, soon holding him with his other arm.

With the trophy in one hand and Basti in the other, Lukas feel like the luckiest man in the world. He felt complete; sure of himself; powerful.

 

'Look here, world! I have what few can have.'

 

The feeling was liberating.

Every time he could, he grabbed the trophy and Basti and pulled them close to himself.

It was almost like a drug, and he didn't have a clue why he was feeling it -- why he was feeling it, in that specific way.

To see Basti smile, hear his laugh, feel his body while they jump and joke, was almost like they'd returned to the final match, when the referee whistled the end of the match, and they realized that they had won.

Now he felt himself realizing that he had won again. Not only the world cup. He had won courage. He had taken another step in his friendship with Basti, and discovered that some might not call what they have 'friendship', but he was certain that it was something; something strong that can resist time, misunderstandings, and even accommodate to something more intimate.

He truly is a winner, isn't he?

A very luck and blessed man to have so much success, a beautiful family, an amazing and beautiful son, and someone like Basti.

He was certain that he was probably doing his 'heart eyes' while thinking about it and looking at Basti, completely distracted by his thoughts, and he didn't mind. He was enjoying seeing Basti so happy.

But celebrations and amazing feeling(s) aside, it was kind of tiresome spending all day standing.

He was still euphoric of course, but after a while his feet were screaming at him.

When the celebration ended, he almost immediately sat down on the ground, and stayed there.

He felt like he had run a marathon.

His thighs trembled, his feet hurt. He was thirsty and the closest bottle of water was too far away for him. He would need to get up to grab it. No way; he could last a little longer without it.

His dry mouth felt like it would rip if he kept smiling, but then an angel came to him, bringing the water that he so badly needed.

 

Looking at Basti, Lukas thought, not an angel. An angel implies something pure, innocent, cute and rounded. Basti isn't that. He's lithe, but strong. He's handsome, not cute -- and he's far from pure or innocent.

He knows that pretty well.

And that makes him smile even more.

 

"That's what I wanted to see."

 

"What?"

 

"Your smile. You have a beautiful smile, Luki."

 

Lukas found the conversation strange. It was too sudden, with no reason behind it, so he retorted with the first thing that came to mind.

 

"Well, so do you."

 

"It's because I'm happy. Very, very happy," Basti told him sitting by his side, their shoulders touching.

 

"I'm glad you are. It's because of me, isn't it?"

 

Lukas didn't know where the courage came from or the spontaneity in which he said it, but he believed it had something to do with the entire nation celebrating with

them -- celebrating them.

 

"Well, let's say that you are part of the reason..."

 

Lukas couldn't hold his excitement. 

 

" ... but not the sole reason."

 

And he deflated.

He felt down.

He'd been so high he couldn't believe a simple 'but' could drop him. But that's the thing, it wasn't a simple 'but' -- it was Basti's 'but'.

He'd began thinking about his own importance (which is foolish, but he couldn't help himself), until Basti's hand held his own, their fingers intertwining.

 

"But...it wouldn't be the same without you here. Football to me won't be the same without you," Basti told him while looking at the people around them. His words are enough renew Lukas' feelings from before. It wasn't the first time Basti had said that, but it was the first time Basti had said it so close to him. He'd always known the truth behind those words, but to hear it so close, in such a moment -- he now knew the weight they carried.

Lukas squeezed Basti's hand with more force, trying to bring Basti's attention to himself, and when it failed, he gently turned Basti's face with his hand, quickly letting go because of all the people close to them.

 

"Me too."

 

Basti's smile was more than beautiful to him, and looking right into his eyes he saw that smile change and become something different.

 

"Well, I would still be World Champion without you, but it's nice to have one more thing in common to share with you."

 

"And what don't we have in commom, Basti?"

 

"Um...good taste to begin with."

 

"Hey! I have good taste..."

 

"Hehehe...I'm joking. Of course you do."

 

And they fell into silence again, just looking at everyone and everything. Lukas believed the both of them were still tired. (Basti particularly). His friend had run so much in the final match -- 17 kilometers the journals said. How he even managed to stay on his feet this entire time was beyond him. And if his legs are bothering him, Basti's must be killing him.

Maybe after all the commotion they could get a place to relax.

 

"Basti..."

 

"Hm?"

 

"What are you doing after this?"

 

"I don't know. I thought about going to the team's after party."

 

"Really?"

 

"But most of the ones going are the youngest, and I don't think I can keep up with the rhythm. Everything is hurting."

 

"Oh. I'm sorry?"

 

Basti looked at him with confused eyes, only to smile slightly

 

"Oh, my dear, don't be upset or think too high of yourself. It wasn't you that left me feeling like this."

 

Lukas didn't know where he'd gathered the courage or where the idea came from. It seemed was natural as he got close to Basti, until their faces touched, and spoke into his ear.

 

"Well, I could've made you feel like that, if you wanted."

 

He could hear Basti gasp, and when he looked at him, he made sure that their noses were practically touching.

 

To Lukas, it was clear that if he wanted something more than hugs and smiles, he had to take a step further here and now (while all those people cheering for them had given him the confidence necessary to do so). He knew that such high feelings were temporary, so he had to do it now. He had to show Basti how sure he was, how certain he was of what he wanted.

 

They won't be together forever and ever, but they can be together now.

 

So his look was the most decisive he could manage.

He wouldn't leave space for doubts. He would leave space to back down though.

He'll pick his destiny; to Hell with the possible consequences.

For all his confidence, needs and wants, he couldn't fight against years of practice -- years turning his head to avoid an unexpected kiss.

That being so, when Basti recovered from his surprise and moved to kiss him, they both leant in to kiss the cheek of each other.

Lukas was sure that it wasn't their intention, but it was like their bodies moved automatically. Deep down he knew that a habit created over a decade doesn't simply disappear.

They broke apart, and Lukas still thought about how to break the habit. That habit that cost him so many moments, yet the same one that gave him so many different feelings.

It hurts more often than not, but expectations, hope and doubt are also good feelings. It put that strange sensation in his chest that let him know all this is real.

And it is.

When he was younger Lukas was a firm believer of the notion that passion and attraction were temporary and soon fade away, and that love itself was losing it's meaning. It was supposed to be a strong word, but at the same time it wasn't.

 

So maybe that's why he believes he doesn't love Basti. What he feels is different.

The passion never existed as far as he knows. The attraction comes and goes from time to time. The love, they'd never really exchanged that word with one another.

But Basti is a constant on his life, he appeared there, and since then, he is always there, and Lukas noticed a few years ago that he cannot imagine a life where Basti isn't there.

To him, that is love. That is more than love.

That is what makes those special old couples spend an entire lifetime together.

 

He was certain that if someone was to ask to an old couple if they love each other, they would say yes, but that isn't the entire truth. They don't only love each other, they cannot live without the other.

And there's a few people in his life that he can fit in that category.

He feels like Basti is one of those people.

 

Lukas' only problem is that he doesn't know if Basti feels the same about him. Basti's affection is undeniable, but does he mean the same to the Bavarian? And if so, how could he tell what Basti means to him, when he doesn't have the words himself.

He was so lost in his thoughts, the fact that Basti took so long to answer hadn't even bothered him. He only noticed it when he heard Basti speak again.

 

"I don't know if you're joking or not, and honestly, I feel a little nervous when we...you know...talk about doing that."

 

"Why? Don't you trust me?"

 

"Of course I do. It's just, well... How can I say it without sounding stupid?"

 

"You can sound the way you want, Basti. Just tell me what's bothering you."

 

"It's..."

 

Lukas took a deep breath. He wanted to know, but he also knew that he couldn't push Bastian. His friend was trying to say something, and it was clear that he was having difficulty. He kept in mind that if it was challenging for him..

 

" ...Ok...It's that all my life I've thought of the bottom as the submissive one; the girl-ish partner."

 

"But Basti..."

 

"Wait, I didn't finish. I know that I'm wrong. I know that it wasn't wrong. But I'm not gay you know?"

 

"Of course you aren't."

 

"But I'm... I'm not. You get what I'm saying, right? I'm not, and I don't have anything against anyone who is, but it's only you, you know? Only you that I...um...do that with."

 

"I'm in the same boat as you."

 

"Well is it? Don't get me wrong, but all my life I've thought that way. As more open minded as I try to be, a small part of me is bothered."

 

" I can be the bottom."

 

"What? No. I mean, yes. But I...well...I like it."

 

To Lukas it was clear that Basti wanted to shove his head into the ground and hide himself from him and the world after he realized what he'd said, so he changed the subject. He can't let Basti drown himself over that simple matter.

 

"I don't get why you're so embarrassed about it."

 

"Hm?"

 

"I would be embarrassed talking about it in public; like we're doing, right now."

 

"Oh GOD! Why didn't you stop me?"

 

"You started, I got curious."

 

"Someone could have been listening!"

 

"Who? Everybody is busy. Your secret kink is safe with me."

 

"Don't joke about it. It's serious."

 

"I know it is."

 

And again they fell into silence.

 

Lukas got up and held out his hand to Basti.

 

"If you won't spend the rest of the day with them, why don't you accompany me?"

 

Basti took his hand and looked at him.

 

"To where?"

 

"Home."

 

"Cologne is a little far from here."

 

Sometimes Basti could be really dense for a guy so smart.

 

"Well someone -- probably in a movie -- said that home is where your loved ones are."

 

"Wow that was..."

 

"Beautiful?"

 

"Cliche."

 

"I'm trying something here, Schweini. You gotta help me."

 

"I am helping you. Don't try with words. You express yourself better with actions rather than with words."

 

"Really? You think so?"

 

"I know so, and because of it I'll get up, enjoy that we're all here, and later I expect you to find me -- so we can spend our time together, okay?"

 

"..."

 

"I'll take that as a yes."

 

Basti smiled at him, hugged him close, kissing his neck, got up and left. And then Lukas felt a wave of nervousness.

He was so sure of himself, but it took Basti to execute what he had planned, and he became nervous. What next? What now? What would they do? What should he do?

 

He stared at his hand and looked at the ring on his finger. Questioning himself, is that right?

But also questioning why he was questioning it. 

Wasn't he so sure about all this? So full of himself and what he and Basti theoretically have?

He kept turning the ring, thinking about nothing, only fixed on the movement of that silver object.

A symbol of  commitment; of love...

And maybe that was the problem. He loves too much, to love only one.

But he wasn't a man to back down. He puffed out his chest, looked around himself, remembering the good feeling of being who he is and living in this moment. 

 

Things like this only happen once. They are an exception to the rule. Life was giving them another chance. He would be a fool and a coward if he didn’t take it.

 

He got up, smiled to Per who was approaching to talk to him, saying that they should all be together (the veterans, the golden generation), drink some beers and have some fun. And he couldn't agree more.

 

Soon Philipp, Miro and Basti arrived, all of them gathering together to talk. Miro was the first..

 

“We’re well served don't you think?”

 

“About?”

 

“The kids. Look at Thomas, Mario, Schurrle. They're young, but they’ve got potential.”

 

“I think you're right. In the beginning I didn't think anyone could fill Ballack’s place, but here’s is Bastian,” Phillip said.

 

“Thank you. I think.”

 

“Then Oliver. He was --  he is, amazing -- but look at Manuel. He’s something more; different…”

 

“New.”

 

Per ended Phillip's quote, and suddenly Lukas felt much older than he was. 

 

The time has passed, and it was visible in Miro and Per’s wrinkles; in Philipp’s tired shoulders; in Basti’s gray hair.

 

How much time do they still have in the NT?

 

“Well we could still kick some asses, couldn’t we, Basti?”

 

“Of course,” He said, smiling as they hugged each other.

 

“You guys certainly could, but my time is over. I'm already too old, and I would be even older in Euro. I'm literally the last of my generation. You guys still have each other.”

 

“Miro, you're from our generation too.”

 

“I appreciate it, Per. But you guys are the ones that started the change that brought us here. I’ll retire, but I’ll do it happily and proud of having shared so many years playing beside you guys.”

 

And that's when Lukas noticed that Basti's breathing changed. He looked at his friend and saw his eyes watering.

 

“You okay, Schweini?”

 

“Yeah. It just... it hits too close to home. I didn't really mind when the others went; it was expected. But now...it’s us. One by one, year by year, our presence in the NT isn't as certain anymore. Now we’re what? Five? Soon there’ll only be four of us.”

 

“Basti, hey, where you go, I go. I’ll always be here. We’ll always be here, won't we guys?”

 

The silence from his colleagues meant a lot. They weren't sure of the future. Or they’re the ones left behind for the newbies see and inspire. Relics.

 

“Speak for yourself, because I don't want to follow Bastian wherever he goes. It's your job, Lukas. Not mine.”

 

“Well if the captain says so, who I'm to disobey?”

 

Per raised his hands in surrender. 

Miro only smiled, not saying a word. 

Being the only Poles on the team, they’ve talked enough (so much that Miro is probably the only one apart from Philipp and Per who truly understands how deep his friendship with Basti is).

But such a topic left them with a nostalgic and sad feeling, obvious from the look on their faces. 

What a terrible way to end their time together. Lukas felt he had to do something. He and Basti are the ones that always made jokes and left the environment funny to be in, but now he found himself in the position that he always saw the older players in. 

With this wise and distant look, seeing what could be better, what is better; realizing that his time has passed.

But Basti pulls away from his arm, and does what he believes he was supposed to do: change the subject.

 

“Come on, guys, shake this feeling away. We’re celebrating, let's leave this ‘I'm old’ conversation for the ones that are really old, like Jogi. I’ll grab some beers. Who’s coming?”

 

Per and Philipp got up before he could even react.

There, alone with Miro, one of the most trustworthy people he knew, he felt free to look at Basti’s retreating form, and smile kindly.

 

“You two have done so much for the team. I think you shouldn't hide it anymore, Lukas.”

 

“I’ve never really hidden it.”

 

“You did, and you know it. You held it inside yourself for a decade. It isn't healthy.”

 

“You don't understand, Miro.”

 

“I do. I understand what it’s like to have a wife, a son; a family waiting for you to be back that loves you and that you also love. To know that you should be glad to have so much, but still feel incomplete.”

 

Lukas was in shock. Why is Miro telling him this? Why now? Does Miro have something to hide? Something he’s afraid of too?

 

“What I was missing is completely professional. What you're missing is more personal and deep. But you can still have it.”

 

“It's not so simple.”

 

“It is. You're the one holding yourself back. You're the one that put your own expectations so low and gave up over the years -- or put them too high that it become unattainable.”

 

“I can't have both. I can't have it all.”

 

“That’s the thing, Lukas. You never could. You’ve got it in your head that it’s all or nothing. But did you ever consider having at least half?”.

 

“And live the rest of my life being half complete?”

 

“It's better than being totally incomplete.”

 

“It's the same thing, Miro.”

 

“No it's not. It's a matter of perception. I have two glasses of water. One is full and the other isn't. Some people will see it half full, others will see it half empty. Be honest with yourself. Be honest with Bastian. And maybe you’ll have a half full glass.”

 

“I don't get it all, but I think understand most of it.”

 

“Good. I want to help you. Most of us want to, to be sincere. But there’s no easy solution to your situation. Probably few have gone through what you have, but like I said, you two endured a decade of this. I believe that the worst has already been faced. And you two still loving each other is present. I’ve seen marriages end for less. Go for it, my boy.”

 

“Miro, you don't exist.”

 

“We are surrounded by Germans. We Poles should stick together. But it's okay to fall in love with a big Bavarian from time to time.”

 

“I’ll drink to that.”

 

And Lukas didn't bother anymore. From now on, Basti is mein Hase.

 

Suck it, world.


	11. NSFW Chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I returned.  
> The end is near...

 

The beers were taking their tole.  
Lukas was feeling a little funny, but it was a good sensation. The only thing that frustrated him was not being able to get a moment alone with Basti (which wasn't so bad since during the World Cup, with all the press, public, training and responsibilities, he'd managed to find time for themselves).

But now that it was over, everyone decided to spend all their time with either him, Basti, or both.  
He loved the team, but he would also love it if they gave him a break.  
When he finally found time alone, he didn't find Basti, and he was starting to get upset.  
Another lost opportunity. Life wouldn't be so generous again.  
But maybe it would, because Basti found him, smiling and putting his arm around his shoulders, talking excitedly.

Without asking, without planning, they both returned to the hotel where Lukas was staying. There he listened to Basti complain about how they didn't have a Playstation to play among other trivial things.

When they got to his room, Lukas decided it was enough, that he was going to express himself. He was pretty sure that that had to be the reason why they never went further; the problem was that neither of them ever vocalized their needs.  
So he would do it for them.  
Unfortunately Basti was faster, interrupting him with a yawn, stretching himself, and soon proclaiming:

"I'm taking a bath."

That's all he'd said before walking toward the bathroom. And Lukas again said nothing as he watched Basti’s retreating figure stride out of sight. He didn’t even move until he heard the sound of the bathroom door being shut. He sighed, letting himself drop on the bed. He stayed there, legs twitching from tiredness, questioning whether or not he should sleep and forget about it all, or get up and do something about it.  
It wasn't too long before he got up, joints cracking, and walked into the bathroom.

Basti was already in the shower when he stepped inside, and didn't seem to have noticed his arrival, but Lukas couldn't be sure. He blinked wearily, his vision slightly clouded from the intense heat of the water.

"Luki?" He heard Basti asking while wiping his face.

"Basti?"

"I’m sort of busy right now, Lukas. You can head off to bed without me. I’ll meet you there in about fifteen."

"Can I come in?" He asked, trying to sound nonchalant, but his voice showed his apprehensiveness. Basti wanted him to go away, but he didn't want to leave. Why would Basti want him to leave in the first place? He was the one in his hotel room.

Basti's answer left him without a proper reaction.

"Are you deaf?"

He was in shock. What the hell happened? He swallowed that tight sensation in his throat, turning to leave, when he heard a sigh of resignation.

"Wait, wait. Forget what I said; come in."

Lukas let out a breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding.

"You came in here pretty quickly. I just wanted to make sure you were feeling okay."

"I’m fine, I’m just worn out. My body still hurts like a bitch."

"Mine too. I feel like an old man."

"That’s 'cause you are one."

"Have you forgotten you're the oldest of us?"

"How sweet of you to remind me."

He didn't know what he was doing or why he was doing it. All he knew was that he was taking his shirt off, when Basti cleared his throat to get his attention.

"You aren’t coming in."

And Lukas' expression faltered.

"No?"

"No."

"But it’s wide enough for the both of us."

"It is, but I’ve already washed my hair and I don’t want you bringing your dirt in here while I’m trying to get clean."

Lukas exhaled through his nose.

"Alright."

He tried to sound defeated, but he couldn't really hide his intentions of not only disobeying Basti, but also getting in the box with him -- and  apparently Basti noticed it.

"I won’t be long. Seriously, by the time you get undressed I’ll already be done," Bastian said rather quickly, reaching for the soap to prove his point.

"Is that a challenge?" Lukas asked as he leans against the bathroom counter, making sure that Basti was seeing his toned abdomen. (Kind of stupid since Basti had seen it before, but it felt like it was the right thing to do).

"Depends…"

"On?"

Basti narrowed his eyes as Lukas began to shrug out of his shorts, letting them drop to the floor carelessly, and once his hands began to work on his dark underwear, Basti dropped the soap, and Lukas' laugh echoes through the small tiled room.

"Don’t drop the soap!"

Lukas couldn't help but tease, pulling the elastic from his underwear making Basti scowl as he scrambles to pick it up, trying to beat Lukas at a game that he's already lost.

Basti could feel his face heating up, and it wasn't from the warm water. The optimist in him hoped that Lukas hadn’t noticed it yet, but Basti doubted it.  
He avoids Lukas' steamy gaze as he rushes through the last of his cleaning. Finally, once clean, he turns the shower off, and he even risks taking a look at his friend, instantly regretting it as a strangled moan breaks through his lips.

Lukas didn't even get to rush; he just got naked. Lounging against the countertop he decided to make a daring move, grabbing his dick in one hand, stroking lazily as he lets his gaze run down Basti's body.

"Mmm..."

And that was all he said, already ready to receive a punch or be roughly kissed, but Basti never ceased to amaze him, taking a different alternative, stood still, looking at him red as a tomato.

"Okay, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable here, Lukas."

"Well I was thinking ... hoping, that you wouldn't mind taking another bath."

And before Basti could even react, Lukas had lunged forward and captured the midfielder's mouth with his own, hands winding tightly into blond hair. He couldn't allow any space or time for them to overthink it, and he'd done the right thing, because Basti returned the kiss eagerly, groaning into the kiss, pulling Lukas closer.

Their kiss was as heated and needy as hours worth of anticipation began to melt away from their bodies.

Lukas wrapped his arms around Basti, licking down his neck, pumping his erection slowly but firmly -- this time with no hesitation or doubt -- and he was rewarded when Basti seemingly dissolved under his touch, his body unnaturally warm against Lukas' skin. He sucked down Basti's chest, teasing him beyond belief as he lets his breath ghost against his erection before floating back up to meet him for another kiss.

"I’m gonna fuck you against the counter."

After saying that Lukas took his time to nibble against Basti’s ear.

"Wait," Basti said, his voice suddenly an octave lower.

He can practically feel Lukas grin against the shell of his ear as he spins him around, pushing him towards the bathroom counter.  
Basti throws his arms out and catches himself against the edge of the counter before Lukas drives himself into it. He scowls, looking over his shoulder to reprimand Lukas for being too rough, but he meets Lukas' hot and demanding mouth instead, which effectively kills any possible conversation.

Lukas rubs against Basti's ass, his erection gliding against the still wet skin.   
If he knew before that all it took was to take the first step, he would have done it sooner -- or maybe not, but it didn't matter. Soon most of his thoughts were erased from his mind. All he wanted was to fuck Basti, and all that his mind tried to do was remind him that he couldn't simply get inside Basti without a second thought.

The midfielder seemed a little concerned that Lukas might stick it in right away, but luckily the man still had some sense left in him. Lukas broke the kiss and holds out three fingers for him to suck, and he didn't even care to where it was going or where it was; he took all the three finger in his mouth and sucked them hard, listening to Lukas groan behind him.

"Good..." Lukas said breathlessly, pulling his hand away and reaching between Basti's thighs.

Basti’s legs began to quiver as Lukas stroked against his hole, coaxing the muscles to relax. He slips a finger inside, making Basti moan gently, his head dropping.   
More sure about what to do, Lukas starts off impossibly slow, taking his time as he strokes Basti's walls, stretching him in the process. One finger turns into two, which then almost immediately turns into three.

Basti’s knuckles are white as he grips the countertop, his body reacting uncertainly to either pushing back against Lukas' hand or pulling away from him, his mind confused and equally eager for more contact and afraid of going too fast again.

Lukas draws his fingers out and Basti can't help but groan in annoyance.

"You won’t be empty for long, Basti."

Lukas lines himself up, the head of his cock nudged against Basti's hole, and he plunged forward in one long thrust.

Lukas groans over the sensation and also for Basti's scream that echos across the tiles.  
He rocks his hips, drawing out of Basti long and slow before snapping forward, bringing Basti’s ass against his body in one go.  
Basti’s legs are trembling wildly the effort of holding himself up -- really the tiredness accumulated over the last two days -- was already starting to strain him.

"Basti...look up."

And Basti did. The foggy bathroom mirror was in front of them, and he could vaguely see the outline of their bodies pressed together, rocking along with Lukas' thrusts.

"Clean it. I want you to watch yourself," Lukas told him, the midfielder wiping the condensation from the mirror.  
As the mirror was cleared, he’s greeted with the sight of his own face, flushed and sweaty. He scowls, dropping his head again.

"No," Lukas protests, bringing a hand to Basti’s chin to lift his gaze back up to the mirror.

"Look how beautiful you are."

Basti looks, taking it all in. His hair was all over the place; His eyes are glazed over; His pupils are blown wide with arousal. His whole face is flushed, the red patches dotting themselves all the way down to his chest. He can see himself panting, his Adam’s apple bobbing each time he swallows. The fine wrinkles around his eyes become even more creased every time Lukas angles his thrusts just right, stroking deep inside him.

Basti makes a sound between a whimper and a moan while Lukas is keeping up a steady rhythm, thrusting into Basti as hard as he possibly can (while Lukas finds it fascinating the way his cock keeps sliding in and out of Basti's ass).

"God, if you could see what I'm seeing."

One of his hands lets go of Basti's hip to spread his ass cheeks apart more and Lukas couldn't tear his eyes away.

"You really like that? You're weird," Basti croaks, watching Lukas watching him. He could feel the burn already, Lukas spreading him apart and spitting so that there's more friction, and Basti almost forgets how to breath, pressing his face into the mirror for stability.

"Yeah, I love it," He says, looking at Basti, seeing him with his face against the mirror, fogging the surface with his harsh breaths. He wants to see Basti lose control and starts to buck against him uncontrollably, so forcefully that before he even realizes it himself, he's let go of Basti's ass and raised his hand to smack it.

Basti jolts forward, gasping loudly and he can feel the way his ass ripple when Lukas brings his hand down.

"Lukas...again," Basti panted, gripping tightly onto the counter.

"I'm not the only weird one here."

Lukas' cock twitches inside Basti and he was grinning widely as he brought his hand down again, the loud smack echoing in the bathroom.

"I can see my handprint on your ass."

Lukas whispered in awe, caressing the hot, crimson skin and tracing the print with his fingers.  
Lukas delivered three quick smacks and then thrusted into Basti's ass hard, finally earning an actual scream.   
He moved both hands to the edge of the counter, gripping it near Basti's hands and leaned forward, kissing the sweat from Basti's back, rocking into Basti so hard his hips slap against Basti's ass with obscene sounds.

Bastian opened his mouth and sobbed, Lukas pounding into his ass  so hard and fast that it was leaving him breathless, and open, and lay over the counter so that Lukas had better access, another scream leaving his mouth as Lukas bites his shoulder, slamming in to the hilt, and Basti's eyes watered.

"Luki... Luki... Luki... fuck!"

Lukas grabbed Basti's hair with one of his hands, yanking his head to the side sharply so that he could can rub his face along his neck, sucking hard on the skin just under Basti's ear, feeling the vibrations from his throat against his lips as he screamed again.

Lukas pulled away from Basti's neck with one last nibble on his earlobe, his grip loosening on Basti's hair until Basti could hang his head down again and pant for breath.

"You wanna come?" Lukas asked happily, slowing down his thrusts until he was sure that Basti could feel every inch of him moving in and out.

"Yes!Please!" Basti cried. Never in his life would Lukas have thought he'd hear such a thing from him, and he was loving it and the feeling of his slow thrusts.  
Lukas smacked the already red ass cheek again, and started to move his hips faster, gradually picking up his pace until his pelvis was slapping against Basti's ass again.

Basti opened his mouth and screamed; screaming because of the cock pounding his ass open; the way he's thrusting his hips against the counter; the way Lukas slaps his ass; the way he can feel the bruises and the tiredness; because he thinks he's failing as a boyfriend, and because he's scared of their future but also because he's not scared with Lukas. And because he knows that he won't regret it. He screamed.

Lukas smacked the neglected ass cheek and he moaned when Basti clenched around him at the unexpected pain. He grabs Basti's waist with both hands, pulling him back onto his cock over and over again, Basti's back arching at each thrust where Lukas hits him just the right way. Lukas' own orgasm isn't far either and he quickens his pace just a little more.

"Fuck..."

"Oh my god..."

And that was all that Basti said, his legs twitching, barely keeping him on his feet hadn't it been for Lukas' strong arms holding him up.   
Lukas gasped, watching Basti's face in the mirror as he came, his eyes rolling back in his head and mouth falling open. Basti's ass clenched around his cock, and he tried his best not to orgasm and keep still, earning a weak whimper from Basti.

Basti was panting heavily, leaning against the counter for support. Finally he gave in to the fatigue and rested his head against the mirror, still feeling Lukas' cock hard inside him, letting out another whimper as Lukas shifts a little.

"Luki," He mumbles, voice sounding pathetic.

Lukas' body was trembling as he wrapped his arms around Basti's chest, helping him to hold his own body, and pressing a kiss into his neck.

"You okay?" Lukas pants out, hands caressing Basti's skin tenderly and making sure he feels cared for.

Basti thought about nodding, but instead shakes his head, trying to stand on his own legs.

"Hurts," He says quietly, and he doesn't entirely know where -- if it was in his heart or his ass -- and he hoped that Lukas could help him, in any way possible.

Lukas passed his hand through Basti's hair and presses a kiss on his back.

"I'm here. I'm always here."

And he stood there, in pain, just like Basti said he was in, and he knew that it wasn't only the pain from his need to come, but also the pain from the feeling that he was cheating on someone he loves. But he let his instincts prevail, giving Basti time to recover before saying anything.

"Basti...I need to come."

Basti smiled, taking a deep breath, and rewards Lukas with the quick clench of his inner muscles around his still hard cock.

"Fuck," Lukas sighs happily. "Can I ...um, keep going, or do you want me to pull out?"

Basti sighs and places his hands back on the mirror.

"Make me fuck your cock."

He smirks at the mirror making sure that Lukas was seeing it, and Lukas did what Basti told him to, bringing Basti's hips with a slap of skin against skin. They both gasp at the contact and Lukas repeats the action, looking up at Basti through the mirror with wonder in his eyes.

Basti was biting his lip so hard it had seemingly turned white, eyes squeezed closed tightly as his body thrums with over-sensitivity. He used his hands on the mirror to help himself stay in the same position, but despise his best effort his arms threatened to give way as Lukas' cock kept hitting his prostate.

"Close, so close!" Lukas gasped out, thrusting up into Basti, losing control in that moment, getting close to Basti and hugging his quivering form that was barely holding himself together and fucking into him hard, whispering horrible filthy things in Polish as Basti couldn't do much more than whine.

"Close," He repeated again, shutting his eyes tight, and coming inside the midfielder, taking a deep shaky breath.

Basti shivered pleasantly at the hot wetness filling him up as Lukas petted his hair to soothe him despite Lukas being the one that had going through his orgasm.   
As he pulled his hands away from the mirror to stand up, he felt his world tilt and for a moment he was so dizzy that he couldn't even keep himself up.

With Lukas spent and with his own legs shaking uncontrollably, they both soon fell onto the cold floor, and he found himself sitting on Lukas, who started to laugh and turn to look right into his eyes.

"I like your eyes."

Basti smiled at him, tapping his shoulder.

"Okay, you win, I’ll let you stay -- on one condition."

"Anything..."

"Can you shampoo my hair?"


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there is...  
> The last chapter. I still have one epilogue, so it's not really the end.  
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy.

 

He was in a daze, the room filled with a camphor smell. He wasn't particularly a fan of the scent, but it wound up filling the entirety, and it was more than enough reason for him the support it.

He remembered every whimper that Basti let out of his throat as he massaged his legs, his back, arms, everything that Basti complained was aching -- practically his entire body.

Once or twice he'd asked if he was alright, or if he was hurting him, only to receive a grunt, and then later a big stare that told him quite well to shut up and keep doing it.   
Lukas for once was surprised by it. After everything he'd kind of expected the kind of response.  
Maybe one more sexual, but despite it being intimate, the feeling, the way they are, it was all practically the same as before it all started.  
Before the title; before the kiss; before all of it.

He thought he would be upset by it, but he was extremely happy. He could even say he was relieved. They were still the same. They could still be close to each other without the need for something more. They could touch without it leading to something else, (like it always does), but with the benefit of knowing that the other wouldn't mind something more intimate and deep and personal, put in kind words.

Lukas had still been massaging Basti, until his stomach interrupted him.

"Wow, you're hungry?"

"Eerrrm..."

"Didn't you eat before coming to the hotel?"

"No. I only had something to drink."

"It's the same thing."

"It's not."

"It is."

"It's not."

"I'm not falling for this, Basti. I'll ask for room service. Do you want anything?"

"Well I do, but how will you place two requests to a room that supposedly only belongs to one person?"

"Basti, I'm big man; I need a lot of food. And I'm Lukas Podolski. If I'm alone or here with two to four other people, it's my business."

"I like your way of handling things, but you should be more careful. You have to think about--"

"Please, Basti, don't bring this up."

"I'm trying to help you. Make sure you don't do something you'll regret."

Lukas could only look skeptically at Basti. 'Help him'? Says the man half naked on his bed.

Life was toying with him. God must be having a really good time seeing him squirm.

"You don't think anyone saw you come up here?"

"It's not a matter of who saw or who didn't. It's a matter of giving them something to talk about."

"Something to talk about for what?"

"To speculate; gossip..."

"More than we already do?"

"Lukas, it's one thing to suspect something; it's another to know about it."

He'd lost his appetite. He stood there, looking at Basti, his focus only on the man in front of him when Basti sat to talk to him.

"Luki, this isn't just about us. There are more people that could get hurt if we screw up."

"I know that. I'm not a child."

"I know you aren't, but Luki--"

"So don't treat me like one. You don't want this anymore? Is that it?"

"I want it and much more, but I can't sleep at night afraid that you'll put on your 'Suck it, world' hat and start to show everyone how...excited...about us you are. "

"I would never--"

"You're doing it right now."

Lukas stood quiet. Basti was right, but he didn't want to admit it. Come on, he was happy. It's normal to act full of yourself sometimes.

"I think about it too," Basti said, interrupting his thoughts.

"What?"

"Our careers, Sarah, Monika -- how much of an ass I am to end such a nice moment."

"You weren't gonna say Louis?"

"What? Louis? No! Why would I do it?"

"Well everyone else that wants to give me a lecture always ends up using him. I'm was expecting you might."

"I would never bring Louis up. If he ever got caught in the middle of this, to me, it'd be because we fucked up."

It was the first time that someone didn't use Louis as a way to get to him.  
It didn't change the fact that Lukas was upset about Basti's lecture, but it was enough to remember why he always listened to him.  
It wasn't that Monika didn't care, it was just that Basti really appeared to put him first -- just like a friend.

Again that word warmed his heart, but also haunted his dreams. Friends.   
That's all they'll ever be, isn't it?  
Despite everything?

"You're right. You're an ass."

But Basti and his goddamn smile always had the power to make him feeling better.

"I know, but someone has to be the mature one, and it's gotta be me, because I don't want you to  lose your youthful personality."

Basti knows him too well, and has always had a way with words. Bayern created a monster. But Lukas refused to answer. A little of the cold shoulder wouldn't hurt anyone.

"Lukiii... talk to me, please. I need to know we're alright. I don't wanna stay still and accept your silence only to notice when we've drifted apart later. I don't want to go back to text messages."

Lukas couldn't stay quiet then. Maybe the cold shoulder isn't the best course of action, so he smiles and puts a hand on Basti's shoulder.

"Don't worry. We still have Skype."

"You idiot. You had me worried," Basti said, smiling and playfully kicking him out of bed.

"What are you waiting for? Go ask for the room service, I'm hungry."

"Now you want room service?"

A pillow thrown to the face shut him up.

In the end they shared the food and made fun of the things they'd seen on tv over the last few days -- which were the same things since they spent most of their time together -- and during their little moment they started to realize the obvious. Almost everyone knew, including themselves: They were practically attached to the hip.

Lukas noticed when Basti's tiredness slowly began taking his friend away from him.   
First Basti lay on the pillows, then he started giving short answers, long blinks, and soon Lukas was talking to himself.

Lukas stayed there watching him sleep, his mind still putting doubts in his resolution, but his heart constantly reassuring him that he was doing the right thing.  
A family and a love.  
But shouldn't the two be the same?  
Does that mean he doesn't love his family? No, far from that. He loves them. He knows he does. But he was afraid that someday, someway, he would have to choose. And he didn't want to be in that position -- ever.

Deep down he doubted he would have to choose Monika over Basti. The truth was that he would always choose Basti if it was only Monika -- but what about Louis? In the end he knew he would leave both if it meant he'd still have Louis, but to hurt one of them would also hurt Louis, and to make things more difficult, a mother is the most precious thing in the world to a child.

He would have a hard time forgiving his father if he hurt his mother. Louis would probably feel the same.  
And that feeling made him feel bad.  
He couldn't help but think that he had cheated on Monika, and as long as they'd been married, he'd never done that. No matter the situation; no matter the temptation.

But now, with Basti, he couldn't stop himself. Mostly because he didn't want to.  
And because of that, when his phone rang and he looked at Monika's name on the screen, he was scared. But at the same time he didn't feet guilty. He felt nothing.  
And when she asked if he was alright, where he was and if he was alone, his answers were simple.

Yes, hotel, and no.

He didn't even think about lying. It was unnecessary.  
She knew him too well, and sooner or later she would realize that he wasn't alone.  
And even when he heard her pained voice questioning if it was Bastian, he confirmed and apologized.  
He apologized because she didn't deserve it. He apologized because he felt sorry that she hadn't found what he had, because deep down, he didn't believe he was to her what Basti is to him.  
Maybe in the beginning they were like that, but now it was long gone. They have the familiarity, the friendship, the trust that even something like this would stay between them. And they have Louis. But nothing more.  
She is beautiful. She is gorgeous, and he would have to be blind not to see it -- but it wasn't enough.  
But the most important of all this, was her resolution. While he was blind, it was like she knew that what happened was inevitable, and despite the pain of the confirmation, her certainty made her strong enough to deal with it.

She didn't cry. She didn't yell. And for the first time in months they didn't fight.  
She talked about Louis; about their upcoming vacation; about the title repercussions, and ended their conversation wishing him well.

A part of him was happy. He has an amazing wife. What a understanding woman.  
The other part was almost panicking, asking, begging Monika to be angry -- to scream, call him names, do anything. Treat him like the cheater, the monster he was. Be and do anything but be calm, collected and reasonable.  
He didn't deserve it.

He didn't deserve it, and that was the moment that Lukas realized that maybe all his anxiety, all his suffering was caused only by himself.   
Now that things had started to fit so well, he remembered Miro's words. Maybe he was the one looking at it in the wrong way. Maybe he was the one hurting everyone.   
Monika appeared to have accepted it long ago despite her fighting and hoping that she was wrong. Sarah appeared above it all, and Basti, far more insecure that he might appear come up, now appeared for years to only be giving Lukas space to decide.

Lukas had always believed that he was one of those people that gave life wherever he goes, but thinking about it, how could he make these people suffer so much?  
How blind was he?  
How cruel?  
They did everything for him; waited for him; accepted his decisions. And him -- all he'd done was stay oblivious to it all.

"Hey, I can hear your thoughts from here."

He looked at Basti's sleeping eyes.

"Sorry."

"It's okay. What's bothering you?"

"It's nothing."

"Luki. You don't stop moving. Something is clearly bothering you."

"I was thinking...how long have you felt like this? You know, about you and me?"

He could see Basti turning to face him, resting his head on his arms, and seriously answered him.

"At first you were just a friend, then you became my best friend. It wasn't too long after that when I started to have doubts about us and what we were to each other. But before I could even know it myself, you had moved on."

"You mean, back at 2008?"

"More or less. "

"And you didn't tell me because?"

"You had moved on."

"Monika?"

"And Koln. By then I decided that whatever I was feeling would never be returned, and I gave up too. I was your best friend then, and would still being your best friend, forever. And I was happy with that."

"Why didn't you go after me? At the beginning I mean?"

"You're my best friend. Why on earth would I do something that could destroy or hurt what you love most? I couldn't have what I thought I wanted, so I cherished what I had."

"If I hadn't walked away, things would have been different, wouldn't they?"

"Maybe, maybe not. When I realized that I probably felt something more, it was already too late."

"Well, since we're having a heart to heart, I gotta say, I've thought about going back in time once and opening my eyes".

"And...?"

"I got the conclusion that it would be the same. What happened happened because of who I am or was. We probably would do the same things. Age makes a big difference in those cases."

"We learn."

"Yeah, we do."

Lukas felt a little more relaxed, laying down on the pillows, mimicing Basti's pose. It was so much like 2006, when they were young and unaware.

"Basti? What do you want to do now?"

"Sleep a little more, and then I was thinking we could go out for a walk, find a nice place to eat."

"I was talking about us."

"Isn't this enough?"

"Yes. But don't you want more?"

"I do. But tomorrow morning I have to go back to Munich,  and you to Cologne. I'll meet the team, then go vacation with Sarah, and you with Monika and Louis. We already have other lives. Let's not hurt ourselves creating scenarios that we both know won't happen."

"I just wanted more."

"So do I. But we still have the Bundesliga, the NT, the friendly matches."

"You're right..."

"And Lukas, no matter where I am, if you call me I'll be there for you. You're more than my best friend."

"It hurts to hear this."

"It hurts saying this, Luki."

Lukas didn't triey to go much further. To him it seemed like what the better thing to do was was end the conversation and enjoy the day.  
And so they did.  
A nice walk, some photos with fans -- photos that he shared on the internet (why not?).   
They even found some small and nice place to lunch.  
It was a quiet and nice day.  
No kisses, no love declarations. They held hands some moments, hugged each other, made stupid jokes and laughed, like they always did. Nothing new; nothing different. Exactly as it has been for 10 years.

Incredibly, Lukas didn't get upset by it. Far from it for practically the entire day. He didn't even notice. And when he did he was glad. After all, after everything that's happened, there are so many things that could have gone wrong.  
And maybe he was learning to see the things like Miro told him: A glass half full. They're together after all. Not together-together, but close enough.  
They're still young and have many years in front of them. Lukas was certain that they'll eventually be together for real. It just wouldn't happen now.  
But he won't change who he is. He might look like desperate for attention, he might look like a fool, but he will keep taking ridiculous pictures, sending kindly and ambiguous messages to Basti in every social network, and talk about him all he wants. Basti is his Hase after all. And he won't let him forget it.

And he may look like a fool indeed, because Basti looked at him like he was crazy and soundly laughed at him.

In the end, their most intimate conversation of that day was about his idea of bought a PSP just to play for some hours. He found that necessary. Basti found it stupid since they both already have one. They ended up buying a pack of cards.  
And when they lay down to sleep there was no sex, only a little cuddling that ended as soon as they started to fight for more space while still sleeping.

And goddammit, Basti has a hell of punch.

Basti was the first to wake up. And Lukas was more than happy when he was awake by Basti carrying a plate of food in for him.

"What happened to being discrete, Basti?"

"Good morning to you too."

"Sorry...Good morning, Basti," Lukas told with his mouth full, quickly swallowing everything to add:

"But seriously, what made you change your mind?"

"Well, it's our second night here. The staff haven't said anything at this point; I doubt they would now. And...when we're happy, it's normal to do stupid things don't you think?"

"Aha, you got that right. Now come here, mein Hase. There's enough food for both of us."

They eat together; they pack together; they leave together. Not once do they share a kiss. It appears to be an unspoken agreement between them: Don't do something that'll make the good bye harder.  
But despite it all, when in the airport, each one with a different destination, they couldn't look into the face of the other.

Don't look at the one you'll miss the most, even knowing you'll see them soon again.

"Well, I think this is it."

Basti was the first to break their rule, turning to face him with a sad smile.

"Yes. It is. So... till the next friendly match?"

"Yeah. You can be sure of that."

They hug each with all their might, and when they part, it's like their arms can't let go. It was difficult but necessary.  
They share a last smile, Lukas sending Basti a wink and Basti jokingly blowing him a kiss. They turn their backs to each other, their fingers lingering, still refusing to let go, until they did.  
They grab their things and both go their separate ways, different paths, both knowing they'll see each other again sooner or later.

No good bye was shared, almost like a superstition. They didn't allow themselves to say goodbye, because if no goodbye was said they could pretend that they never left the other behind.

For 9 years he left and didn't look behind himself, afraid that if he did he would want to stay -- and if he stayed he would regret leaving what he already had.  
Even on the tenth year he still hasn't looked back, but this time it wasn't because he was afraid of regrets. Far from it. He didn't look back because this time he knew that he wasn't leaving anyone.   
Basti's always with him. He had his time with Basti. Now he has to spend his time with his family, and he was certain that he had time and love for the both of them.

Confident as always, he felt his phone vibrating. He ignored most of the looks, only sparing a wink to a overexcited teenager, and on the screen he saw a message -- from Basti.

**'Skype tonight?'**

He promptly answered.

**'00:00 on the clock as always! ;-)'**


	13. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi people!   
> It took me a while, but here I am posting the epilogue of my fic.   
> It is full of grammatical errors. But I wanted to post it anyway.   
> My beta-reader, at the moment, can not review this chapter, but once it's fixed I'll update here.   
> Thank you all, Thanks and hugs to everyone who read, commented and left kudos...and for those who didn't too.  
> I hope you enjoy this last chapter.   
> See you guys on EuroCup!

 

Since he remember that man was there.

At first it was just a big man with a cool hair (he really wanted to have a hair like that when he grow up) -- with time the big man gained a name, Bastian -- or Basti, or Schweini, or Hase, his Dad appears incapable of decide how to call the man that for him was just Uncle Basti.

He always know that Uncle Basti isn't a parent, but his Dad always said that he is family, his mother otherwise said he is his Dad's friend

 

They never agreed in what Uncle Basti was, that was clear to him. But he understand why his dad was happy to talk to Basti practically every day, Uncle Basti is a nice and funny guy, he knows it and likes it and so his Dad, but his mom didn't appear to share their opinion.

He didn't know when it started, to him it always there, even when Uncle Basti was away he could listen to his name being said in hushed voices.

His mom and dad always did that, wait for him to sleep to talk about things, he didn't mind, unless it was something to do with Christmas presents, but then, he didn't know why, he started to care about it, even more if the subject was Uncle Basti.

 

He never got it all, and he didn't really understand it (nor did he tried to) his mom complained that his dad didn't care about her, that he don't look at her like that -- his only question was: look like what?

Like his dad looked at Uncle Basti?

Why would his mom want that?

His mom should be happy, Dad loves her and didn't want to annoy her with that strange looks.

 

It bring him to Dad, that always said that he loves him, that he was the most precious thing in the entire world -- it was nice hear that, but there was a moment that he started to feel shy when he hear that, it was nice but uncomfortable.

And because of that he never found it strange when his Dad stop saying that to his mom, maybe she ask him to stop, maybe she like him and was feeling shy with all that 'I love you so much' thing.

He honestly couldn't wait for the moment that his Dad would stop saying that to him all the time, the dad's from friends at his school didn't say that to them, it was the moms who did, just like his mom do to him.

After all, the word must not be so important, after all, his Dad don't said that neither to his mom neither to Uncle Basti.

 

He remembers almost nothing from the time that Uncle Basti often frequented their home.

He wasn't really sure, but he remember some things, during that period his Dad acted like kid, and they played all the time,it was nice, and his mom always brought them food saying that the boys need energy.

But then Dad stopped saying Uncle Basti's name all the time, and Uncle Bastiwas was slowly ceasing to visit them.

He don't remember much, but to him it was clear that both his Mom and Dad aren't happy and then -- London. And everything was magically okay, his Mom, his Dad and even Uncle Basti started to smile more.

 

His dad returned to talk to Uncle Basti daily -- he knows that, even if his dad tried to hide it.

 

He doesn't blame his Dad, in fact he understand him, his Mom become upset everytime she got his Dad on the phone with Uncle Basti.

 

But suddenly it stopped

 

His dad didn't hide it anymore, and his mom started to ignore that, she didn't even get close to dad for an hour or two if his dad talked to Uncle Basti. He feel like he should find it strange, but it happens all the time, and his parents still together -- the kids from school were the ones wrong, his parents are together, so they can joke all they want, he knows it was only to annoy him, his parents love each other and that they will be together forever.

 

His Dad told him so, his Mom told him so, even Uncle Basti with that strange sad eyes told him so.

 

So it can only be true.

 

The jokes, however, that something that really bothered him at the beginning -- some boys always said behind his back or even on his face, that his Dad and Uncle Basti like each other like a couple.

They're stupid, his Dad and Uncle Basti aren't like that.

They're friends.

Great friends.

Best friends.

But he wasn't blind to the fact that his Mom always changed the channel on tv when they will talk about his Dad and Uncle Basti, and that he almost doesn't got close to a newsstand.

 

He still didn't get why everybody seems to care about his Dad and Uncle Basti so much, they don't have better things to do?

 

It is something that still happens, his Mom didn't lose that annoying habit of changing the channel, and who goes to a newspaper stand anyway?

But the computer have everything he needs and doesn't need.

And it was on the computer that for first time he saw his Dad and Uncle Basti by eyes of a stranger.

He was bored and decided to search for his Dad on Google, for no reason at all, when he saw a montage of photos of his Dad and Uncle Basti holding hands, hugging, being really close -- things that was common to him, they do it all the time, why the fuss?

 

It was on the commentaries that he realised that it was he that saw it different, because the world appeared to see them as The Bromance of the football.

They said they love each other (duh), that they have heart eyes, that they secretly are together (gross) and that his Mom and Sarah are there only to serve as disguises.

And that was the limit, he stopped reading

 

He asked his Dad about it, after all his Dad always said that he can ask him anything. But his Dad's surprised face showed that maybe he shouldn't ask anything.

He could see his Dad fight to find the right words.

 

\- You love me don't you?

 

\- Of course dad.

 

\- So please don't hate me.

 

He didn't get the whole reason and he didn't hide it, he just rolled his eyes, he want to know, why the adults have to took so long to answer the things?

 

\- I love you son, and I love you mom. But I also...like... Uncle Basti very, very much.

 

\- Why would I hate you for that?

 

\- It's because I really like him, a lot more than I should.

 

\- So do I.

His Dad smile doesn't make sense to him, what did he said that was so special anyway?

 

But the really important thing was that now he frequently participated on his Dad's Skype session with Uncle Basti.

He even got a time just for him and Uncle Basti talk about things. Football for example, and that cute girl that appeared to be nice.

 

His Mom never participated thought, but he understand it, it was a man's talk after all.

 

But it wasn't all, after some time his curiosity to know about what they parents are fighting about, transformed into _'I don't want and don't need to know about it'._

He got upset about it sometimes, sometimes he blames football because it's difficult to them to be all together all the time -- football brought them together, but it appear to keep them apart too.

 

He never told them, and he made Uncle Basti promise him to not tell them too.

But sometimes, when he was really upset he talked to him through Skype. Uncle Basti was his Dad's friend and his friend also.

That was their little secret. And his Dad's ignorance over this fact made him sure that he could tell Uncle Basti everything.

 

He didn't really saw Uncle Basti in person with the frequency of when he was a little, but he saw him enough to know that he still part of their family.

More than once he stayed under Uncle Basti's care. More than once he heard even his grandparents talk about him. They appeared to really like him -- well the entire country loves him, everyone except his grandma and his Mom, they appear only to tolerate and accept that Uncle Basti was a presence that won't disappear -- and he was glad.

 

Uncle Basti was always there. Always. Since his first clearly memories, there's Mom, Dad, grandpa, grandma and Uncle Basti.

He was on the family pictures. And you don't erase people that are on the family pictures.

Of course that in the picture it was only he, Dad and Uncle Basti, but it counts as family too, doesn't it?

 

To him it counted, but apparently not everyone agreed with him, and he discovery it when he was very young, when in the school they asked him to draw his family, and he draw everyone, not left even the most distant cousin out of it, but the commotion was that he had put Uncle Basti there too.

He never get why they made such a fuss, it was because he forgot to put Sarah there?

He doesn't remember it all, but he remembered somethings.

How his mom complained that his dad was responsible for this. (For what? A drawing?) That no friends acted like that. And so goes on.

Again the same thing that he saw and heard for years. And that recently he accepted that he will listen about it forever.

At least with time his Mom stopped to complain. But she didn't stop making funny displeased faces.

 

So, it was pretty okay to see Uncle Basti kissing his Dad on the field, he even stood there watching. (Come on, take the pic alreadly! )

And he won't be surprised when his Mom find that picture on his Dad's phone and started to be upset again -- well he was kind of surprised because he thought that his Mom would see it on his Dad's phone, and not on his Dad facebook page.

 

A nice pic he got to admit. But it has to be soo big?

 

He listened to his Mom complain to someone on the phone, saying that Dad never put a picture of them on his facebook page. And he was going to said that Dad only post things related to football or sports, but the look on his Mom face told him that it was better to stay quiet.

And of course -- again -- mom and dad started to fight. Maybe not a fight per see, it was most mom complaining about something football related, that soon will include Uncle Basti, and then she will talk about him too -- Again!

So he turn and walk away.

 

To find someone that he knew, was no challenge, the entire German NT was there, and to find Uncle Basti was even easier.

Kid's play.

 

Uncle Basti is a happy guy for most of the time, but sometimes, he catch Uncle Basti looking at him with sad eyes. He never understood why Uncle Basti look at him like that. At him and at his dad, but mostly at him, of course it was briefly, but he wasn't blind neither stupid. It never really bothered him, but he couldn't deny the curiosity.

He always asked Uncle Basti about his sad eyes, and Uncle Basti always changed the subject almost immediately becoming cheerful.

In the end it doesn't matter, he always know that Uncle Basti loves him as much as his Dad -- okay maybe not as much as his Dad, but he loves him enough or he wouldn't waste his time talking and listening to him.

And it doesn't really matter, he manage to get what he wanted. Be away from his parents talk, and even got to have some fun with Uncle Basti that got even better when his Dad joined them, and them both started to win easy easy.

 

But everything has to end at some point.

At the beginning he could listen the his Mom gnashing,but everything went pretty smooth.

He didn't even find it strange anymore, his parents always have that conversations with a little of animosity, only to later act like everything is okay.

Almost like a ritual.

And his mom was more than happy by the time they leave, he didn't say anything, but he think it has something to do with his dad spend all his spare time with them, and that not only for a moment he touched his phone -- he know that it will end as a motive to his Mom to complain later, saying that dad didn't take a picture of them, but he understand why his Dad didn't not want to touch his phone.

And of course, their vacation probably have something to so with his Mom happiness. To him it would be nice of course, but he already made it clearly to his Dad that he has to bring the PSP, no way he will stay in the middle of nowhere with no game to play. That is too boring.

 

There's more things happening, that he know for sure. He tried to ignore it, but his Mom keep getting him distracted running in circles.

And even when she stopped to play with him, he could notice that her mind was somewhere else.

He wants his Mom back, he wants her attention, but she keep looking at the phone, just like Dad -- at least with Dad he could get to talk to Uncle Basti.

 

He tried to get her attention, he tried to get an answer for the reason why they aren't with Dad, he asked his Mom why they didn't go to the celebration in Berlin with Dad, but she said was that Dad needed some time alone.

He tried to know the reason why his Dad would need to be alone, only to his Mom answer that he need time, just that, nothing more -- but there must be more.

Dad wouldn't just leave then, his Dad doesn't need time alone, his Dad hates to be alone!

But later he discovered that Uncle Basti was with his Dad, so all is alright. If Uncle Basti was there, Dad would be happy.

But he still didn't get why all the hiding, his Mom could have just said that Dad was with Uncle Basti, there's nothing wrong with that. But still his Mom have that sad face again soon after she saw Dad hugging Uncle Basti on the tv.

 

Dad is happy when he was with Uncle Basti, so as long as his Dad is happy he was happy.

Why his Mom couldn't be happy too?

Still he didn't like seeing his Mom like that. So he did just like Dad do when his Mom is sad. He got up, get close to his Mom and hugged her.

He was happy that she smiled and hugged him back. All is fine now. But her words still brought him doubts if everything is really alright.

 

\- Don't worry honey. Mom and Dad loves you more that anything in the world. And no matter what happens, we both will stay here together, because we love you more than anyone or anything.

 

\- Love you too mom.

 

That's all he said. It normally works and help him run away for the kiss shower that his Mom sometimes gave him.

The rest of the day was nice, he eat ice cream -- twice.

And when dad returned, he had that big smile that he have everytime he spend a time with Uncle Basti -- and that's the right time to ask for a third ice cream.

 

His Dad's smile was contagious, and his parents look okay, happy. And it was good because he got not only the ice cream but also fried potato.

Maybe if he ask to play football he could get it too.

 

And later night on that same day, he saw lights coming from the guest room door, and when he opened he saw that his Dad was talking to Uncle Basti.

So he did like a ninja, silent just like one.

And got close to his Dad so he could gave them both a scare and talk to Uncle Basti too -- it had been two days since they last talk -- and as he got close he even got to listen part of their conversation

 

\- I'm already missing your ugly face, Luki.

 

\- Don't worry Schweini. We will see each other soon, mein Hase.

 

And he jumped on his Dad, clearly scaring them both. He could not help but laugh -- Dad's face was so funny, and Uncle Basti was laughing too.

He like Uncle Basti's laugh, he didn't know the reason why (his Dad once told him that Uncle Basti used to laugh near to him when he was baby.)

 

\- Mein Hase, Uncle Basti? Don't let Dad speak to you like that. Show him who is the man!

 

\- Hehehe. But I like when your dad calls me that.

 

\- You do?

 

\- Of course Louis. I find it lovely.

 

\- No, Uncle Basti, only girls find things lovely.

 

\- Do I look like a girl to you, kid?

 

\- No! Okay...sometimes...Ow. DAD!

 

\- Stop bothering him, Louis. Apologise.

 

\- Luki, there's no need.

 

\- Yes, there is. Louis?!

 

\- Sorry, Uncle Basti.

 

-It's okay kid. Your Dad is overreacting, I'm not mad. So...what you two have been doing?

 

\- Playing football and eating icecream!

 

\- Yeah?

 

\- Yes. And fried potato too.

 

\- That's nice.

 

\- And you uncle Basti?

 

\- I sleep a little and buy some clothes. Didn't you noticed how beautiful is my coat and my scarf?

 

\- It's nice, but it's summer!

 

\- Louis is right, Basti, and why the hell did you buy another scarf?!

 

\- I like them. And I know you like them too.

 

And again Uncle Basti was winking to his Dad.

Uncle Basti always do that, sometimes he even send kisses -- he find it funny, as funny as seeing his Dad getting red and red while Uncle Basti played with the scarf, his Dad is so weird sometimes.

 

\- Uncle Basti, can I have a scarf too?

 

\- Of course my dear. I will buy one just for you.

 

\- Oh no no no. You will not dress my son, not with your terrible taste for clothes.

 

\- Lukas, it's Schweinsteiger fashion!

 

He could just laugh, Dad was complaining and Uncle

Basti was doing his 'bitch face' just like the smiley crazy guy told him -- Mulli.

Mom never liked the word, said that no one should be called a bitch, not even Uncle Basti. And that it's a wrong to said it to anyone. His Dad otherwise, said it's true and that Uncle Basti have 'bitchiest bitch face ever'.

He call that 'funny face' or 'annoyed face', but one thing is true, he prefer 'bitch face' Basti to 'angry face' Basti.

Uncle Basti is scary when angry, and he don't like to see him mad at his Dad. He saw it once and it last less than an argument between his parents, but it was time enough to him -- it was scary because Uncle Basti is -- wise, like Miro once told him, and to see him lose it was really really terrifying.

But that was when he discovered that just like his Dad, he also have the power of making Uncle Basti calm down and buy him candies.

He just have to stop in front of him, look up to his eyes and hold his hand, done. The angry, annoyed, bitch face would disappear and Uncle Basti would look at him with a smile as sweet as his mom's smile.

 

And he wasn't the only one. His Dad also loves Uncle Basti's smile, maybe it's because it make his Dad remember his Mom. Other thing he likes about Uncle Basti, and don't understand why, is his voice.

His Dad have a strong voice, imposing, a very manly voice he heard his Mom said it once -- like the voice he will have when he grown up. But Uncle Basti's voice was more sweet, he don't know how to put it into words, he just likes the voice, maybe he heard it when he was baby just like Uncle Basti's laugh.

It was so strange to him, that even today he got himself questioning why some of Uncle Basti's caracteristcs make him feel that strange familiarity that only his Mom can make him felt. He even asked his Dad if Uncle Basti was there when he was born, but his Dad said no, but completed saying that was always near him after his Mom felt comfortable enough to let Uncle Basti hold him.

He could only think, his Mom comfortable with Uncle Basti, in the same sentence, the things really changed didn't they?

He also asked that to his Dad -- what changed. His Dad only told him that sometimes life make you choose.

Another vague answer...

 

\- Yo! Earth to Louis!

 

\- Dad?

 

\- I will leave you with Uncle Basti for a moment ,ok?

 

\- Where you going?

 

\- I will make us a chocolate milk. Would you like something more in your chocolate?

 

\- I want chantilly

 

\- .... chantilly

 

He told his Dad, but looked at Uncle Basti instead.

It is nice to know that Uncle Basti knows what he likes -- sometimes he think Uncle Basti knows more about him than his Mom and Dad.

 

\- So little man, got something to tell me?

 

His mom always told him that family is Mom, Dad and he.

His Dad told him that his family his He, Mom, Dad and Uncle Basti, then he got red as a tomato and changed the subject.

 

But of one thing Louis was sure, he doesn't remember a life without Uncle Basti, and he couldn't image one without him either.

 

He also know that his Dad loves Mom and equally loves Uncle Basti -- he isn't blind, but more important than all of this, he loves both Mom and Uncle Basti, and his Dad always remember him that he loves him more than anything else -- and that makes him special, he is the glue that hold they all together, and if it depends on him, Mom will always have Dad, Uncle Basti will always have Dad, and Dad will always have them both, because that makes his Dad happy.

 

And if Dad is happy, he is happy -- and it means playstation, football, fried potatoes and ice cream.

 

 


End file.
